Dear Queenie,

  My sister does not behave well when we take her out to eat. She makes all kinds of special requests and then complains that things aren’t the way she wanted them. It’s really embarrassing.

  Queenie, how can we get her to behave better?—Embarrassed sibling

Dear Sibling,

  Before you take her out to eat again, sit her down and talk to her about this. Explain just what is it that you find so embarrassing, and ask her not to do it. And if she still does it anyway, do not take her out to eat, or at least do not take her to any restaurant where you want to be recognised as a good customer.

Dear Queenie,

My parents have always had a dog, but they are getting old and taking care of a pet is getting to be too much for them. Their last dog died recently and now they are talking about adopting a puppy, but I don’t think they will be able to keep up with the mess it will make while they are trying to housetrain it.

Queenie, is there any way I can talk them out of having another dog?—Worried daughter

Dear Daughter,

Instead of adopting a puppy, try to persuade them to adopt an older dog that is already housetrained. Then, if your parents are not even able to take the dog for walks, or to clean up the yard if they have one where they can let the dog out to “do its business” and get some exercise, hire a neighbouring teenager(s) to walk the dog every day and, if relevant, to clean up the yard once or twice a week.

Dear Queenie,

  What are you supposed to do with Christmas gifts that were sent to a member of your family who passed away just before the holidays?—Bereavement Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  It is up the bereaved family to decide whether to keep the gift in memory of their lost loved one. And if, after they have taken care of more urgent matters, they decide not to keep it, it is still up to them to decide how to dispose of it – by returning it to the person who sent it, donating it to a worthy cause, passing it on to someone else, or even selling it. They can ask the person who sent the gift what that person would like them to do with it, but they are not obligated to do so.

Dear Queenie,

  Some friends of ours recently held a “benefit dinner” to raise funds to help out a family member with funeral expenses.

  Queenie, I can understand asking for financial help with medical problems or education expenses, but isn’t asking for help with the cost of a funeral a bit too much?—Donation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  Holding a “benefit dinner” is a public advertisement of a family’s financial problems, which is not in good taste. Plus, it would be better to give the money that would have been spent on food and entertainment directly (and privately) to the family in need, and to ask those who would have been invited to do likewise if they wish to help