Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating a guy for only a couple of months and he wanted to take me to all his family’s holiday dinners. He has a big family and I felt strange meeting so many of them all at once like that and now he wants me to go with him to his family dinner every week.
Queenie, I don’t want to offend him or any of them, but every week is just too much for me. How can I get him to let up?—Overwhelmed girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
If you continue dating this guy you will have to accept that he is close to his big family, and you should feel complimented that he wants to include you.
However, you also should explain to him how overwhelmed you feel and perhaps ask him not to take you to these family events quite so often.
Dear Queenie,
My father-in-law likes to pick up my son and drive him around to the sports games his cousins are playing in, or just to run errands. I like having my son spend time with his grandfather, but not when they are driving around, because my father-in-law has been in several traffic accidents. I know they were just what you call “fender-benders,” but most of them were his fault.
I told him I like having my son spend time with him, but not when they are driving around because I’m afraid someone might get hurt. Even if it’s not my son, I don’t want him involved in anything like that. When I told him that, my father-in-law got mad and said if I don’t trust him to take good care of my son he won’t spend time with him.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Your husband should make it clear to his father that the child’s safety comes first. He should also see to it that his father has a complete medical check-up, because his traffic accidents may be connected to a physical problem such as poor eyesight or dizzy spells.
Are you sure your father-in-law has a valid driver’s licence? If it is up for renewal any time soon, a medical problem like that should prevent it from being renewed.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I want you to settle an argument.
She says a bachelor is any unmarried man. I say a bachelor is a man who has never been married.
Queenie, what do you say?—Curious couple
Dear Couple,
I am not an authority on word definitions. However, my Oxford Dictionary says a bachelor is a man who has never been married. An unmarried man who has been married and divorced is a divorcee. An unmarried man who was married but whose wife died is a widower. ’Nuff said?
Dear Queenie,
For about a year I have been corresponding with a friend I used to know in high school. During that year she and her boyfriend got married.
I can understand why she didn’t invite me to the wedding, but she never even mentioned it to me. I found out from seeing her wedding photos on Facebook.
Queenie, I can understand why I wasn’t invited to the wedding, but why not say anything about it?—Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
Maybe she thought you already knew. Maybe she was embarrassed that she could not invite you to the wedding. Why not ask her how she likes married life and see how she reacts?
Dear Queenie,
I had an argument with a couple of friends and stopped seeing them. Recently they have started dropping by my home without calling because they say they want to be friends with me again and they expect me to just let them in and entertain them. Often they come around dinnertime and expect me to ask them to join the family at the table.
Queenie, how do I get them to stop doing this?—Ex-friend
Dear Ex-friend,
Possibly your ex-friends are having money problems and are hoping for a free meal. If so, it would be charitable of you to let them join you.
However, if you do not wish to visit with them, tell them so – as politely as you can manage – and do not let them past the door. You may have to tell them more than one time and you may even have to shut the door in their faces if it is the only way to make them understand.
