Dear Queenie,
One of my relatives has a child who just takes anything they decide they want without asking permission, not just things like food but anything they decide they want no matter who it belongs to. It’s stealing, that’s what it is.
They do this when you visit their house, like things out of my purse, or when they visit your house, like trinkets or pictures or magazines or anything that happens to be lying around that they decide they like.
I am planning a big party for my husband’s birthday and I want to invite my relative and the rest of her family, but not her thieving child.
Queenie, how do I make my relative understand that the invitation does not include that one child?—Fed up with thief
Dear Fed up,
Is your relative aware of what a thief her child is? If so, she may understand that your invitation does not include that one child, especially if you apologise for the exclusion. Nevertheless, your relative may be offended or at least she may decide not to attend.
However, you cannot be expected to welcome into your home someone who has stolen from you and probably will do so again, and possibly will steal from your other guests also.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are both very tall and it seems like our baby girl also is going to be tall.
Queenie, we have gotten used to the comments we get about our height, but how do we prepare our daughter to handle such remarks?—Very tall mother
Dear Mother,
Teach your daughter to be proud of herself no matter how tall she is. And people seem to be getting taller with every generation, so her height may not be as unusual as you fear.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé contradicts everything I say. He makes it seem like nothing I say is ever right. He also doesn’t like my cat. He says if she starts rubbing against him he will throw her out the door.
When I tried to talk to him about this I got so upset I started to cry and he said he hates to see me hurting, but he didn’t understand that it was what he said and did that was hurting me.
Queenie, how can I make him understand what the problem is?—Unhappy fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
My guess is that he does not want to understand the problem, or he does understand, but wants to blame it on you being too sensitive rather than him being too rude. And his attitude toward your cat worries me.
Professional pre-marital counselling together might help you work out this problem, but you should think very carefully before you marry this man, and if he will not go to counselling with you should not marry him.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter and her children live with me. She is a good mother, but sometimes I wake up at night and she is not there, she has gone out and just left a note for me saying where she is going and when she will be home.
I have asked her to tell me in person ahead of time before she goes out, but she still does this. She says she doesn’t want to wake me up if I am already asleep and as long as I am there the kids will be okay.
Queenie, what do you think?—Home-alone grandma
Dear Grandma,
I think your daughter should tell you before you go to sleep that she will be going out, so that you will know even in your sleep that you have to be aware that she is not there. She also should check with you ahead of time to be sure you are not planning to go out.
Dear Queenie,
I’m what you call a “senior citizen” and the other day a friend of mine who is much younger than I am asked me if I still have sex with my husband and what it’s like at my age.
I think this is a private matter and none of her business, but I didn’t want to be rude.
Queenie, what would be a polite answer is such a case?—Still active
Dear Still active,
You could have just told your friend, “It is different for everybody. You will just have to wait until you are my age to find out for yourself.”
