Dear Queenie,

  My daughter and son-in-law got divorced recently and I just found out that a few months ago when she found out she was pregnant with their second child my daughter found a way to end the pregnancy because she knew they wouldn’t be together much longer.

  I am totally against abortion because it is against my religion.

  Queenie, how do I get over this and forgive my daughter?—Mourning my lost grandchild

Dear Mourning,

  I understand why your daughter did not tell you all this, knowing how you feel about such things, and I am wondering how you found out, but that is beside the point.

  Whatever your beliefs are, you have to accept the fact that others, even your own children, may not share them, and you have to accept their right to their own beliefs just as they have to accept your right to yours.

  Try to concentrate on the grandchild you have in this time that must be very difficult for him or her, not on the one that “might have been.”

Dear Queenie,

  My brother divorced his wife after more than 30 years married and got together with a foreign woman who is younger than his own daughters.

  I’m planning a barbeque party for my birthday and I want to invite the whole family, including his ex-wife and their grown-up children who I’m still very close to, but my brother will want to bring his new girlfriend who the whole family disapproves of.

  Queenie, what should I do?—Can’t decide

Dear Can’t decide,

  I suspect you will be stuck with your brother’s new girlfriend, so let everyone else you invite know what to expect. Especially warn your ex-sister-in-law, explaining that you will understand if she chooses not to attend, but that you hope she will be there too.

Dear Queenie,

  The other day when my son and I were coming out of the supermarket a couple of young punks accosted us in the parking lot and demanded that I hand over my wallet. Then they grabbed it and ran.

  Afterward my son asked me why I just gave in and didn’t try to resist them. He made me feel like I had let him down.

  Queenie, how do I make this to up him and get over it myself?—Robbed

Dear Robbed,

  If you and your son have a karate black belt, perhaps you could have resisted the robbers without getting hurt – or they might have pulled some sort of weapon on you and one or both of you might have ended up in the hospital as well as being robbed. Professional law enforcement officials advise not resisting in such cases so as to avoid being physically harmed.

  Consider yourself lucky – all you lost was money and whatever else was in your wallet, but otherwise you both came out of the encounter unharmed.

Dear Queenie,

  Whenever my family get together at my house I always ask the ones who smoke to do it outside.

  However, my grandmother is in her late 80s and she is one of the smokers and I would never ask someone so old to go outside if the weather is not so nice. Besides, I think someone her age deserves a little extra courtesy. But the other smokers say if she can smoke inside, they should also be allowed to do so.

  Queenie, what do you say?—Non-smoker

Dear Non-smoker,

  As a non-smoker myself, I say you have a perfectly reasonable right to want to keep your home smoke-free – including your grandmother’s smoke.

  Perhaps everyone, including yourself, would feel better about all this if you set up a special sheltered place outside with a comfortable chair and an awning to keep off bad weather, just for Grandma to use when she wants to smoke. If necessary, put a little sign on the chair saying it is reserved for Grandma.