Dear Queenie,

  My divorced daughter and her children live with me so that I can take care of the children while she is at work.

  Her new boyfriend visits us a lot and eats a lot of meals with us. He even takes home some of the leftovers. He has a low-paying job and says he has trouble paying his bills, but he always seems to have money to go out drinking and to the movies and sports games.

  Queenie, do you think this is right?—Not rich grandmother

Dear Grandmother,

  If you cannot afford to feed this boyfriend so often, ask your daughter to stop inviting him to eat with you so often.

  I am assuming she invites him and he does not just drop in and expect to be fed – if it is the latter, do not invite him to eat with you, but excuse yourselves when it is time to eat and ask him to come back later. Or, ask your daughter to give you money to pay for the food her boyfriend eats.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband’s unmarried boss seems to find me attractive. He always pays me a lot of attention when there is something going on at the office where workers’ spouses are also invited.

  I have asked my husband to stay close to me to help keep his boss away, but he says the boss is paying him a compliment by paying attention to me and I should be nice to the man to keep him in good with his boss.

  Queenie, what do you think of all this?—Annoyed wife

Dear Wife,

  I think your husband is either stupidly or deliberately ignoring what is going on here. You should explain to your husband in the simplest terms possible that you do not like the way his boss treats you, and you think he should not like it either.

  And the next time the boss approaches, give him a pleasant “hello,” then excuse yourself quickly and go talk to someone else – preferably your husband.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband doesn’t think about anything else than his business and I do everything to take care of the house and our children. When he does have a few minutes to spare all he wants is to have sex with me no matter what I am in the middle of doing.

  I would appreciate it if he could think about my feelings sometimes – ask me to go out somewhere or even just give me a hug or a backrub without expecting it to lead directly into the bed.

  Queenie, am I asking for too much?—Not just a sexpot

Dear Not just a sexpot,

  Of course you are not asking for too much, but the person you should be asking it for is your husband.

  If you cannot make him understand, perhaps a professional marriage counsellor could do so. If you cannot persuade your husband to go with you, go by yourself to get help in figuring out how to explain all this to him, and in deciding just what you want to do if your situation does not improve.

Dear Queenie,

  My father was abusive and my mother divorced him when I was little. He never paid for child support for me and I have not had any contact with him since they got divorced.

  Now he is not able to take care of himself anymore and his relatives who have been taking care of him want me to contribute to the cost. It’s not as if they can’t afford it – they are very well-off and own their own home – but I’m not that well-off and I have a wife and children of my own and we would have to do without a lot of things if I gave his relatives any money.

  Queenie, what should I do?—Abandoned son

Dear Son,

  If your father did not support you or have any contact with you when you were a child, I do not think you owe him anything now that you are an adult.

  Think of it as “chickens coming home to roost,” or as your father having others do unto him as he did unto them.