Dear Queenie,
A guy I know has really bad teeth. Some of them are missing and others you can see have a lot of decay. And he has really bad breath. He has asked me to go out, but there is no way I want to date him. What if he tried to kiss me?
Queenie, should I tell him to go see a dentist?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Tell him politely that you are put off by his bad breath and concerned that the state of his teeth could cause him some other health problems as well, and recommend your own dentist, making a point of telling him how well (and gently) your dentist treats you.
Dear Queenie,
I had a lot of boyfriends when I was young and now I’m afraid I might have caught HIV and I’m afraid I might give it to the guy I’m dating now.
Queenie, what should I do?—Afraid of AIDS
Dear Afraid,
The very first thing you should do is get tested! If you test positive, there are medications that can prevent you from getting AIDS.
And if you test positive, you should tell your current and former boyfriends to get tested too.
Dear Queenie,
I dated a married man for a while until I broke up with him when I realised that he was lying to me about wanting to leave his wife to be with me.
Queenie, should I tell his wife he was cheating on her?—Married man’s ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
You are not exactly innocent in this matter. You knew he was married and you still went out with him. If you insist on telling his wife about all this, at least do not be so cowardly as to do so anonymously. But are you really so sure she does not already know?
Dear Queenie,
When my daughter was very young she had a friend who came to live with us when her mother died. She stayed with us until she grew up and got married and now she has children. I sometimes take care of them along with my daughter’s children and the friend’s children think of us as their grandparents.
Queenie, what do I say when people ask me about the friend’s children?—Not really their grandma
Dear Not really,
Just call the friend’s children your “honorary grandchildren.” And if anyone asks why you put it like that, tell them the children’s mother is like a daughter to you.
Dear Queenie,
I do not like my husband’s brother and he does not like me either. Now he is going to get married to a woman who also doesn’t like me and I don’t like, and we have been invited to the wedding.
Queenie, my husband wants me to go to the wedding with him. Do I really have to?—Reluctant wedding guest
Dear Guest,
If it means that much to your husband, go with him and be polite to the happy couple for his sake. You probably will not see much of them at the wedding, and I doubt you will have to see much of them after that either, except at family get-togethers.
