Dear Queenie,
Now that it is getting warmer outside, my wife insists on closing the windows and turning on the airco to keep cool. I would prefer to keep the windows open so we can have fresh air in the house, but she says the breeze brings in too much dust.
Queenie, who is right?—Disrespected husband
Dear Husband,
This is not a matter of who is “right” or “wrong”, but of personal preferences. It is also a matter of where you live – for example, if you live anywhere near the often-burning “sanitary” landfill, I would tend to side with your wife, dust or no dust.
If you cannot work out your differences together, try to get professional counselling – together.
One final thought: Can your air-conditioner be set to bring in outside (fresh) air through a filter to keep out the dust? Of course, the filter may have to be cleaned or replaced frequently, but the benefit might be worth the trouble/expense.
Dear Queenie,
My parents were friends with another couple a few years younger than them. When my mother was dying, so was the other woman’s husband and they both died about the same time.
My father went to her husband’s funeral and she came to my mother’s funeral, and they kept in touch after that and about a year later they started going out together and now they are planning to get married.
Queenie, what do you think of that?—Grieving daughter
Dear Daughter,
I think your father and his friend the widow had a lot in common, especially their grief over the almost-simultaneous loss of their respective spouses and friends, and I am not surprised that their friendship evolved into something much more special.
I wish them both the best, and I hope you do too.
Dear Queenie,
I have a serious medical condition that I am taking medication for. The problem is that the medication interferes with my ability to have sex and my wife thinks I don’t find her attractive enough. That’s just not true. I still love her and think she is so beautiful, but I just can’t perform in the bedroom.
Queenie, how can I convince my wife I still love her and think she is just amazing?—Bedroom failure
Dear Bedroom Failure,
Make an appointment with your doctor to talk about changing your medication. Sometimes a small change can make a big difference in the side-effects. Take your wife with you, so the doctor can explain to her how your medication is affecting you.
And be sure to tell your wife often and show her in other ways how much you love her.
Dear Queenie,
When my husband and I got married he had a dog that was getting kind of old. I don’t much like dogs, especially to have them in the house, but I put up with it for my husband’s sake. Eventually the dog died of old age and my husband took it to the vet to be cremated.
The problem is that when he took the dead dog to the vet, he wrapped it in a quilt that my mother made for me when I was a child and they cremated the quilt along with the dog.
Queenie, I loved that quilt. It was a gift from my mother who has been gone for many years now! How could he do that to me?—Angry wife
Dear Wife,
Did your husband know the history of the quilt and how much it meant to you? If not, if he thought it was just another piece of bedclothes, try to forgive him for what he did in his grief over the loss of his dog.
However, if he did know how you felt about the quilt, and about the dog, he may have been trying to make you share his grief over his loss.
Either way, he owes you a sincere apology, and you should try to forgive him.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend broke up with me a while ago, but he keeps texting me and asking me to go out with him. He says he regrets breaking up with me and sometimes he asks me to stay the night at his place, but he says our relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Queenie, what should I think about all this?—Confused ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
This guy does not want a relationship with you, he just wants whatever he can get from you without making any kind of commitment. He has said quite plainly that there is no future for the two of you together. Believe him – and walk away!
