Dear Queenie,
One of my uncles got mad at me for calling him “Uncle (whatever)” and said now that I am grown up I should just call him by his first name, so that is what I do.
But Queenie, I’m wondering – should I stop calling all my older relatives “Aunt” and ´Uncle”?—Confused nephew
Dear Nephew,
This is a matter of the personal preference of the person you are addressing. Ask each of them what they prefer and abide by their preference.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé is living on another island for a while for his job and comes home weekends to see me. He has a friend there – a woman – he spends a lot of time and does a lot of things with.
I know her and I like her, but when I asked my fiancé about how much time he was spending with her he got mad and shouted at me and accused me of being jealous and trying to control him.
Queenie, was I being unreasonable?—Not jealous
Dear Not jealous,
No. You were asking a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances. Your fiancé was the one who was being unreasonable, for getting angry about your question. If this is the way he is going to treat you, perhaps you should think twice before you marry him.
Dear Queenie,
I am engaged to a man from a family that my family does not like – we’re sort of like Romeo and Juliet, I guess.
When they heard we got engaged both families made a big fuss and everyone said they would have nothing to do with arranging the wedding and they wouldn’t even attend, and neither of us would be welcome in the other family’s home.
Queenie, is there anything we can do to make things better?—Unhappy fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
I doubt it. These feuds have a way of going on forever.
One thing you might consider is have both of your DNAs checked against each other. Could it be possible that the reason for the rift between the families was a long-ago relationship that went bad and that you and your fiancé are related – possibly very closely related – and that is why the families are so opposed to your marriage?
Dear Queenie,
There has been a death in my husband’s family and we want to go to the funeral service, but we have a 6-month-old baby and everyone we might ask to look after him will be at the service.
Queenie, would it be OK to take the baby with us to the service?—Funeral Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I suggest you contact the place where the service is being held and ask them that question.
In my opinion, the other people at the service might even like to see your baby, as proof that life goes on. But if you do take him, be sure to take him out immediately if he starts to fuss or make any noise that would disrupt the service.
Dear Queenie,
When my niece got married I couldn’t go to the wedding, but I sent them a nice gift. Later her mother asked me whether I had given the couple any money and I told her what I gave them. She said I should give them some money too to help pay for the honeymoon.
Queenie, is she right?—Wedding gift Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No. You gave them one nice gift and that should be enough.
