Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been going together for a couple of months and I want us to start living together and think about getting engaged, but she doesn’t seem to be very enthusiastic about the idea. She says we should wait a couple of more months and then talk about it again. That’s a long time to wait and not even be sure anything will happen.
Queenie, how can I get her to start moving along?—Impatient
Dear Impatient,
There is a very good reason for the old saying “Marry in haste, repent at leisure” or in your case “Move in together in haste …”. You get the idea.
Do not press your girlfriend to do anything she is not ready for. That would be begging for an ending you might not like.
Dear Queenie,
When you go on a date with someone and he says he’ll give you a call and then he never does, what are you supposed to think?
Queenie, why do men say they’ll call and then they never do?—Lady waiting
Dear Lady,
They say they will call because it is kinder – and easier – than saying “Sorry, I didn’t like you and I won’t be seeing you again.”
All you can do is hope for a call, but do not hold your breath or put your life on hold waiting for it. Meanwhile, feel free to do whatever you feel like doing, including dating other guys.
Dear Queenie,
A guy I liked when we were in high school went away to college, got married and lived abroad for many years. Then a while ago he got divorced and came back here to live and when we happened to meet up he asked me out on a date.
I thought we had a great time, but after that one date I haven’t heard from him again.
Queenie, maybe he just lost my phone number? Should I give him a call?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
You can try, but do not be surprised – or upset – if he is just not interested. These days, what with Facebook and all the other social media, he probably could have found a way to contact you if he really wanted to.
Dear Queenie,
After my sister went away to college she got a job over there and now she doesn’t stay in touch with us here at home anymore. We try to call her or e-mail her but she never answers the phone or replies to the e-mails.
Queenie, why do people do like that? And how do we stay in touch with her?—Miss my sis
Dear Miss,
Your sister may have had a falling-out with some member of your family, or she may have become so engrossed in her new life that she just does not have the time or energy to stay in touch with the folks “back home”.
Send her greeting cards on her birthday and all special occasions and holidays (without expecting any response) and hope that someday she will decide to respond.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s new wife won’t let our grandson (his son with his ex-wife) visit us unless we also take her daughter with her ex-husband (my son’s step-daughter). She says it’s because the little girl cries all the time her big brother (step-brother) is away. We think it’s just because she is looking for free baby-sitting.
Queenie, why should we have to take care of the little girl too?—Imposed on
Dear Imposed on,
Face it; the little girl may not be related to you or your son or your grandson by blood, but she is still an important part of your son’s and grandson’s lives, and so is her mother.
You do not say how old your grandson is, or how well the children get along with each other. Is he old enough to help you look after his little step-sister? And do they get along with each other well enough that he can be trusted to do so?
You would be wise not to try to shut the little girl out. Who knows? You might even come to love her as though she really were a blood relation, and you would be setting a good example for your grandson.
