Dear Queenie,
I’m a woman but recently I was talking on the phone to someone I don’t know and the person called me “Mister”. I have heard my voice in recordings and I don’t think I sound like a man. It was kind of embarrassing.
Queenie, what should I have said?—Telephone Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Apparently that person did not know your first name, or you have a name that can be taken for either a man’s or a woman’s.
You could have said, “I am a woman, not a man,” or, “That should be Miss (or Ma’am), not Mister.” Confusion (and your embarrassment) ended.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have a couple of dogs that I love like they are my children. We never had any children because I couldn’t ever get pregnant, according to my doctor.
Now that we’re getting older, I happened to mention to my husband how much comfort the dogs would be for me if anything happened to him, but he said if anything happened to me he would give the dogs away because he wouldn’t be able to take care of them.
Queenie, how can I rest easy knowing he doesn’t care about them as much as I do?—Dog-loving wife
Dear Wife,
Apparently your husband does not think of the dogs as his “children” the way you do, but rather as pets that need more attention than he alone would be willing to give them.
If you are not sure he will find a good home(s) for them if he (and they) outlive you, make arrangements from now for some of your dog-loving friends to take over care – and if necessary, adoption – of the dogs if you go before your husband. You will rest easier now and, if the time comes, your husband will have one less burden to cope with.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine has children about the same age as mine and she keeps inviting my kids to come over and play with hers. I won’t let them go, because her children are very rough and have bad manners, and one of them is a bully who picks on my son who is about the same age.
Queenie, sooner or later she is going to ask why we won’t let our kids go to her house to play with her kids. What should I tell her?—Protective mother
Dear Mother,
Tell your friend as gently and politely as you can manage that you do not want your children exposed to hers because you do not approve of her children’s manners and behaviour. But be prepared for your friend to take offence, no matter how gentle and polite you are.
I am sorry to say it, but this may be the end of your friendship. However, the wellbeing of your own children must come first.
Dear Queenie,
There’s a girl at my school who thinks I’m her best friend because I was nice to her when nobody else was. She just follows me around everywhere.
My girlfriend is really bothered by all this. She is not jealous, but she doesn’t like having this other girl around all the time at school and when we’re hanging out together.
Queenie, how do I explain to this girl that it’s too much for me to handle?— Beleaguered boy
Dear Boy,
You have to explain to this girl – as gently and kindly as you can – that you have a girlfriend and a social life that simply do not include her, and you are just too busy to spend much time with her.
The school year will be over in a couple of months and unless she lives very close to you, hopefully you will be seeing less of her then.
Dear Queenie,
I was at a wedding recently when somebody’s cell phone started to ring right in the middle of the ceremony. The preacher just looked at the person and asked if they wanted him to wait while they answered the call.
Afterwards some of the other guests thought it was all a big joke, but there were some who said the preacher should have just ignored it.
Queenie, what do you say?—Wedding guest
Dear Wedding guest,
I say the person whose cell phone rang owes everyone a big apology. The phone should have been turned off during the ceremony, or, if its owner is someone like a doctor who has to be on call at all times, it should have been set to vibrate quietly instead of ringing. And I hope that if the person actually took the call, he or she had the courtesy to leave the room to do so.
