Dear Queenie,
Our grown-up daughter still lives with us even though she has a full-time job and could afford a place of her own. She doesn’t help around the house and when I ask her to do something she always has an excuse not to, and my husband, her father, says she shouldn’t have to because she works full-time and we are retired, so I end up doing all the housework.
Queenie, do you agree with him?—Retired mother
Dear Mother,
No. If your daughter has a job, she should be paying rent, plus something for the food she eats, or she should be helping with the housework.
If her father does not agree with this, let him do the housework for a while and then see if he still feels the same way.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine had an affair and had a child with his byside so he left his wife to be with her and the child.
However, after a while he realized that she was abusive and trying to control him and she wouldn’t let him have a relationship with his other children, so he went back to his wife.
Now the ex-byside won’t let him see their child and she tells everyone lies about what a terrible person he is. He thinks he has to put up with all this because he cheated on his wife.
Queenie, shouldn’t he be able to defend himself?—A friend of his
Dear Friend,
When you hear any of the lies, be sure to tell everyone the truth about your friend. But do not say anything bad about the ex-byside. Once people know the truth about your friend, they will also be able to see the truth about her.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine had an affair with a married man and it’s not the first time he has cheated on his wife. I happen to know that the wife suspected what was going on, but her husband managed to convince her that it wasn’t so.
Queenie, should I tell her the truth?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
If there is a chance that the man’s wife has caught a sexually transmitted disease from him she should be told about the affair, but other than that stay out of it. Being forced to face the fact that her husband was/is not faithful to her would surely make her angry, and she might be just as angry at you for telling her about it as she is at him for his adultery.
Dear Queenie,
I have some food allergies and have to be careful what I eat, but when I visit my family they keep serving things they know I can’t eat and telling me how good they are and I really should have just a taste.
Queenie, what’s a good way to get them to stop doing this?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
Just say – as sweetly as you manage – “You know I am allergic to that and my doctor has told me not to eat it. Why would you want me to eat something that would make me sick?”
Dear Queenie,
My parents are very religious and brought me up in their church. However, when I was in college I started to get interested in how other churches and other religions worship and I learned a lot about them.
Now I am engaged to a man who is of a different faith than my parents and I have been going to his place of worship with him. My parents have noticed that I do not go to church with them anymore and they want to know what I am doing instead.
Queenie, should I tell them the truth or try to cover up what I am doing? I don’t want them to get mad at my fiancé for converting me, because that is not what is happening. I made my own decision.—Daughter
Dear Daughter,
Even if he did not make any effort to convert you, I am sure your feelings for your fiancé had – or will have – some influence on your final decision.
Do not lie to your parents. Sooner or later they would learn the truth and the fact that you had lied to them would only make matters worse. If you have decided to convert to a different religion than theirs, you must have the courage and the strength to stand up for your beliefs – and hope that eventually they will become reconciled to what you have done.
