Dear Queenie,

  My husband and I are going to have our first child in a couple of months. Our only problem is my mother-in-law’s husband. They got together after my husband was grown up and out on his own, so he doesn’t think of that man as his stepfather and we really don’t like him and the way he behaves and how he treats my mother-in-law and we never want that man to have anything to do with our children.

  My husband has told his mother how we feel about her husband but she thinks we’re just being too sensitive.

  Queenie, how do I tell my mother-in-law that she is welcome to visit us, but not her husband?—Worried mother-to-be

Dear Mother-to-be,

  Tell your mother-in-law that you would love to have her visit you when her grandchild arrives, but only her, because she knows how you feel about her husband, and do not listen to or accept any argument on her part. You may be surprised to find that you get no argument from her on the subject.

Dear Queenie,

  My ex-wife and I have been divorced for almost ten years and we have a daughter who is now getting to be a teenager. My daughter and I have always been close until this past year when she has stopped doing things and going places with me.

  I asked her what had happened and she wouldn’t tell me. My ex says it’s just “growing pains” but I don’t understand what that means.

  Queenie, should I ignore all this and hope it will go away or should I be concerned about it?—Worried father

Dear Father,

  I do not think you have anything to be concerned about. It is normal for teenagers to pull away from their parents and develop interests of their own. Let your daughter know you love her and are there for her if she needs you, and wait for her to grow up a bit more. Eventually she will come around to you again.

Dear Queenie,

  I am a lot smarter than everyone else in my grade at school and I don’t have anything in common with any of them. Even though I am in the special advanced class I can’t have a conversation that everyone else can understand.

  Queenie, can you help me?—Smarty-pants

Dear Smarty-pants,

  Being exceptionally intelligent is not an asset if being conceited about it prevents you from relating to other people on other levels than mere intelligence, such as compassion, empathy and having similar interests.

  To begin with, stop patting yourself on the back for being smarter than everyone else and start trying to understand why others who are not as intelligent as you are have so many more friends.

  Then start using your gift to learn how to relate to others who have different talents than yours.

  Your school counsellor may be able to help you, or to refer you to a professional psychological counsellor who can help you.

Dear Queenie,

  Some friends of mine often talk about their money problems and huge credit-card debt but still they have a lot of parties and love showing off things they have bought recently.

  I enjoy spending time with them but I don’t feel right about admiring things I know they can’t afford or giving them compliments about their nice new things.

  Queenie, should I stop going to their parties?—Thrifty friend

Dear Friend,

  Your friends will go on having parties whether you go or not, so you might as well go, but stop admiring and complimenting them on new possessions you know they cannot afford. Telling them “Yes, yes, very nice” in an uninterested tone of voice should be sufficient.

  And if you know a good financial consultant, refer your friends to him (or her) whenever they mention their money problems.