Dear Queenie,
My parents are getting divorced and after years of listening to them fighting with each other I am not sorry about it.
My problem is that my mother goes around saying all sorts of bad things about Dad that I know are not true.
Queenie, how can I get her to stop doing this?—Fed-up son
Dear Son,
Ask your mother to stop bad-mouthing your father because you still love him and it is not fair to you – and because doing it makes her look bad, especially if your father is not bad-mouthing her.
Dear Queenie,
Our grown-up children are on the outs with each other, we don’t know why, and won’t come to any family celebration we want to have.
Queenie, do we just have to put up with this or what can we do about it?—Worried Parents
Dear Parents,
Talk to your children separately and try to find out what is the reason for their separation and what, if anything, you can do to make things better. There may not be much you can do, but at least you will have tried. Having done that, all you can do is hope – and, if you are so minded, pray – for reconciliation.
Dear Queenie,
I overheard a friend’s child bragging to their friends about how they got away with cheating on a test. My friend told me her child got an A on the test, much better than the child usually does. My friend was so happy that her child had done so well.
Queenie, should I tell my friend it was because the child cheated?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
Yes, I think you should tell your friend what you overheard, so she can deal with her child appropriately before it happens again and the child gets caught, which could have serious repercussions.
However, be prepared – your friend may not want to believe what you heard, or that you heard it correctly.
Dear Queenie,
My husband got a girl pregnant while he was away in university. He knew about the child but the mother never let him have anything to do with their daughter and anyway, he came back here to live so he completely lost touch with them.
Recently the girl came here on school holiday and called him to ask him to show her around the island. He was delighted to meet her and the two of them started going around together leaving me alone at home.
My husband is delighted to have a daughter after all this time (we don’t have any children) and I am happy that he is happy, but the girl doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Queenie, how do I deal with the way they leave me out of things?—Left out stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
Talk to your husband about this. Tell him how you feel about being left out, and ask to be included at least part of the time in his dealings with his long-lost daughter.
Try to be patient with the girl when she comes here and matters should improve as you and she get to know each other. And as long as the girl lives elsewhere and only comes here on vacation, you will not have to deal with her very often or for very long at a time.
Dear Queenie,
Why do women wear tight, skimpy, see-through and/or low-cut clothing that shows everything they’ve got inside it and then get mad when men stare at them? The men are only doing what comes naturally and if the women don’t like it they should cover up better.—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
The men may be “doing what comes naturally,” but courtesy often requires controlling one’s natural impulses.
Still, you do have a valid point about the way some women dress.
