Dear Queenie,
When I was a little girl my grandfather did things with me that I didn’t like, so I tried to stay away from him. I told my parents, but they thought I was making things seem worse than they really were, so they didn’t do anything about it.
Now I’m going to get married and we’re making up the guest list for our wedding. There will be a lot of children there because most of our friends and relatives will bring their kids.
Queenie, is it okay if I don’t invite my grandfather?—Victim grown up
Dear Victim,
It is not merely okay, but highly advisable that you do not invite your grandfather to your wedding (or any other event) where young children will be present.
And if anyone asks why he was not invited, tell them. It might prevent them from exposing any other potential victim(s) to a molester.
Dear Queenie,
My husband says he loves me and doesn’t love any other woman, but he has cheated on me a couple of times that I know of and probably more than that.
He doesn’t deny it, he claims that a man needs lots of sex with different women to be really satisfied.
Queenie, is that true? And what should I do?—His wife
Dear Wife,
First, if you stay with this man, get tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Second, see a marriage counsellor to help you decide whether you are willing to stay in this non-monogamous marriage, and to figure out how to cope with whatever you decide.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a senior in high school and I have a little sister that I have to drive to school every day. She doesn’t like the way I drive and she says mean things to me and calls me names and we fight a lot.
I told my parents how rude she is and I don’t want to do anything for her, but they won’t do anything about it. They just let her get away with anything.
I can’t wait until I go away to college and get away from her.
Queenie, is that so wrong?—Disgusted sister
Dear Sister,
It is not unusual for younger siblings to drive their older siblings crazy. Try to ignore your sister’s behaviour, which is intended to get your attention and make you respond to her. Try to remember that when she grows older and outgrows this childish stage, the two of you may actually become good friends.
Meanwhile, if you need someone to talk to, go to your school counsellor, a sympathetic relative or your best friend.
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who dreams of being a famous athlete and wants to play sports in college to pay for his education.
Queenie, is that possible?—His best friend
Dear Friend,
It is possible for a very good athlete to get an athletic scholarship to a university. However, it depends on just how good an athlete your friend is. He should go to his coach for an assessment of his ability (and a recommendation, if he is good enough).
Your friend also should be prepared for the possibility that he will be told he is not as good an athlete as he thinks he is, and you should be prepared to help him face that truth if necessary.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in a serious relationship with a woman and I’m thinking about asking her to marry me. My problem is that she likes to flirt and several of those other men have asked her to marry them.
She says it doesn’t mean anything, but she even took a couple of trips with a man she says is her cousin so I don’t have anything to worry about.
Queenie, should I believe her, or should I be worried?—Suspicious
