Dear Queenie,
I’m not antisocial, but I do need time to be by myself to just read or watch TV or whatever I feel like doing at the moment. But there is always some friend or relative or neighbour who calls or drops in to keep me company so I won’t be all alone.
Queenie, how do I explain to them when that happens that “alone” is just what I want to be?—Retiree
Dear Retiree,
It is quite alright to – politely – tell a person who drops in or calls that you are busy doing (whatever) or that you need to be by yourself at that moment and please to come or call back at (whatever time you would welcome their company or conversation). Eventually they will get the idea.
But try to make some time when you would welcome a little company, so that you do not find yourself totally isolated.
Dear Queenie,
When I was little I wanted to be a singer and my family just loved the idea. However, now that I am older I have become interested in other things and I would rather study law or business, but I don’t want to disappoint my family.
Queenie, how do I explain it to them?—Changing my tune
Dear Changing,
Your family may be disappointed, but they will get over it. The truth is that performing artistes are not always successful. Being a lawyer or a businessman (or -woman) can also be a fruitful career. Do what you find most satisfying.
Dear Queenie,
One day at work a couple of men were having a loud conversation about their sex life. It was very offensive, especially what they were saying about women.
Queenie, should I have said something to make them shut up or just tried to ignore them, which is what I did?—Offended co-worker
Dear Co-worker,
You were right to try to ignore them and not to make a scene at your workplace.
However, you might want to talk to their boss about this, because the way they were talking distracted you from doing your work – and what if a customer had also heard them and also had been offended?
Dear Queenie,
Since my wife started menopause we haven’t had much of a sex life. I don’t want to cause her any trouble, and I won’t go out and have an affair, but I miss what we used to have.
Queenie, why does this happen and what can I do about it?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
When women start menopause their hormone levels go down, their sex drive drops and sometimes having sex actually becomes painful. Have you talked to your wife about this? If she talks to her family doctor and/or a gynaecologist about it she may be able to get some help.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I are in favour of different political parties, but we don’t let that bother us. However, most of my friends favour the same party I do and they don’t like him because of his political ideas, so they stopped calling me and inviting me to their get-togethers.
Queenie, why do I have to choose between my boyfriend and all my other friends?—Victim of politics
Dear Victim,
You should not have to make such a choice. If this is how your friends behave, perhaps it is time for you to start making more friends – ones who can “agree to disagree” and not let politics rule all their choices in life.
