Dear Queenie,
My father-in-law keeps a loaded gun in his house at all times. I want my children to be close with their grandfather, but I won’t let them visit him unless the gun is unloaded and locked up safely, and he says he won’t do it and I am just being a sissy.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Nervous about guns
Dear Nervous,
Let your children visit their grandfather as long as you are there to keep a close eye on them all the time. If he wants more time with them than you can manage, let him visit them in your home – but make certain he has not brought that loaded gun with him!
Dear Queenie,
With all the staying at home because of the COVID-19 pandemic I’m having a hard time keeping myself and my kids busy. We can’t spend all our time watching TV, even if there was all that much interesting to watch.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Bored stiff
Dear Bored stiff,
Read a lot. There are websites where you can read books on-line.
Also, arts and crafts can keep all of you occupied.
Teach your children to cook while you are preparing meals.
And if you live in a house with a yard, start a garden – flowers if you like, or vegetables if you want to save a little bit on groceries.
Dear Queenie,
I was at a funeral some time ago and there were some people taking pictures of everybody and everything that was going on.
Queenie, what is your opinion about this kind of thing?—Funeral Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I think one should have permission from the immediate family of the deceased – parents, siblings, widow/widower, children – before taking pictures at a funeral. And I think it is possible that, after some time, the survivors may be pleased to have such pictures and may even find some comfort in them.
Dear Queenie,
My parents used to fight a lot and then they got divorced. Now my mother keeps saying bad things about my father even though I asked her not to talk about him that way and we had a big argument about it because she said I was taking his side and then she didn’t talk to me at all for a couple of weeks. That’s the way she used to be with Dad.
Queenie, my Mom and I used to be close but I am losing all my respect for her. Is there anything I can do about it?—Unhappy daughter
Dear Daughter,
Your mother is probably suffering from a lot of stress because of the divorce, and I suspect you are too. If you have any other family – aunts, uncles, grandparents, older cousins – to whom you can turn for emotional support, do so. Also, if you are still in school, your school counsellor may be able to help.
Your mother would also benefit from professional counselling, if anyone can persuade her to go for it.
Dear Queenie,
I have my own business and mostly I do pretty well, but there have been some hard times too. When things get bad my wife goes out and has an affair to make up for the money and attention I can’t give her.
Queenie, I feel like a fool for still loving her. What do you think?—Husband in love
Dear Husband,
I think if your wife really loved you she would try to help you out during the bad times, maybe even get a job to help pay the bills, but not sneak around with some other man behind your back. I think this is not a healthy relationship and you should seriously consider whether you want it to continue – with professional counselling if you need it, and perhaps a good lawyer.
