Dear Queenie,
We have a grandson who lives on another island. He never calls us or e-mails us, even though we send him gifts and have helped him out financially on occasion.
Queenie, what is the matter with young people these days? Or are we expecting too much of him?—Offended Grampa
Dear Grampa,
Some young adults tend to take members of their family for granted. I suspect your grandson will get in touch with you the next time he needs financial help. But there is no excuse for not sending some sort of “thank you” message when he receives a gift, so feel free not to send any more gifts until you hear from him – and then not unless he thanks you for whatever you send.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have a good sex life but only if I start things going. I’m beginning to think she just doesn’t enjoy it that much, or maybe I’m not as attractive to her as I think.
Queenie, is she just doing me a favor?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
Many women have been brought up to believe that it is not proper for a woman to initiate sexual activity, even with their husband. Also, many women find sex unrewarding or even painful when their hormone levels change with menopause.
It might help if you talk to your wife about this, with the help of her doctor or a professional counsellor if necessary.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s son lives in another country. He has a pretty good job and mostly supports himself, and the only time we hear from him is when he wants to come visit us or he needs some money.
Usually we are happy to have him visit us, but last Christmas my son and his family came and stayed with us for 2 weeks and when my stepson also wanted to come and stay with us we had to tell him no, we just didn’t have enough room for so many people.
We suggested he come around Valentines Day instead and he said he’d think about it, but we never heard from him again even though we tried to call him and left a lot of messages.
Queenie, how can we fix this mess?—Stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
There is not much you can do about your stepson’s behaviour except keep trying to call him once in a while. But you probably will hear from him again when he needs money.
Dear Queenie,
I was trying to fix up a friend of mine with a date with a woman I know from where I work, but when I showed him a picture of her he wasn’t interested. She is of a different race than he is and I would hate to think that that is why he wasn’t interested in her.
Queenie, what do you think?—Would-be matchmaker
Dear Matchmaker,
I think there could be any one (or more) of a number of reasons your friend was not interested in this woman. Perhaps he thought she was too old or too young for him, too fat or too skinny to be attractive, too tall or too short, too blonde or too brunette for his taste, too beautiful or not good-looking enough – the list goes on and on. Did you try asking him why he turned down your offer?
Dear Queenie,
I got into some trouble when I was a teenager and got sent to detention. After I served my time and got released I finished my education, got a job, and never got in trouble again.
I’ve started dating again and I need to know when to tell someone about my record. If I say anything too soon it will put them off. If I wait too long they will dump me for not saying anything sooner.
Queenie, what do you say?—Ex-con
Dear Ex-con,
This is not something for you to talk about on your first few dates. But once someone has had a chance to get to know you, around the third, fourth or fifth date, you should tell them. If your crime was not a violent one and you are not on an offenders list, your date should be willing to hear what you have to say and understand that you have turned your life around.
