Dear Queenie,
My son does not like to wear a helmet when he rides his bike because he thinks it makes him look like a sissy.
Queenie, how can we make him understand how important this is?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
If your son is underage, tell him you will take his bike away if he does not wear a helmet.
If there is a law where you live that bikers must wear helmets, remind him that the police will take his bike away if they catch him helmet-less.
If there is a local bikers club where you live, take him there and let the members explain to him the importance of wearing a helmet.
And it might help if you take him to a bike shop and let him choose his own helmet and decorate it himself with stickers or however he likes.
Dear Queenie,
My mother often asks my father what he thinks about something, like what color clothes look good on her, and then she does just the opposite, like if he says she looks good in blue she will get something red or yellow. And she does the same thing with me – whatever I ask for she will get something else.
Queenie, why does she ask if she isn’t going to listen to us?—Disgusted daughter
Dear Daughter,
This kind of behaviour is called “passive aggression”. It is a way of showing that one disagrees without being obvious – or openly hostile – about it.
Dear Queenie,
What do you do or say when you know someone is lying to you?
Once someone started telling me something about an event that I know they were not at, because I was there and I know everyone else who was there and they were not. Besides, they were telling me about things that never happened at that event.
So, Queenie, what do you do in a case like that?—Truthful Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I would end the conversation as quickly – and politely – as possible. And if the person is someone I think maybe I should be afraid of, I would get as far away from them as possible, and stay away from them from then on.
Dear Queenie,
Some of my friends who used to be overweight have lost weight, exercised and gotten fit. They used to be noisy and kind of bouncy, but now they are kind of timid and seeking for others to approve of them.
Queenie, why do fat people change that way when they get thin?—Just wondering
Dear Just wondering,
Maybe it is because when they were fat they thought they had to act the way they did to get any attention, and now that they are slender and fit they do not think that way.
In any event, be happy for them, because I am sure their overall health has improved along with their appearance.
Dear Queenie,
There is something my boyfriend wants me to do when we have sex that I would find degrading. I understand that some people enjoy this sort of thing, but not me.
He doesn’t ask me for it anymore, but he still talks about it a lot.
I’m afraid if I don’t do what he wants it will make him think less of me, but if I do it I will think less of myself.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
You should not have to do something in bed that does not give you pleasure, let alone makes you feel bad.
The next time your boyfriend starts talking about this particular sex act, change the subject to things you both enjoy doing in bed. Then suggest doing one of them.
