Dear Queenie,
My parents told me about sex and all that when I was going into my teens, and by that time I had heard about it from other children, but not all of what they had told me was right.
Queenie, how old should my children be when I tell them about all that?—Young mother
Dear Mother,
Teachers of young children advise that children be told the basics of sex education before they start elementary school. They suggest putting the emphasis on what is the smart thing to do rather than what is the right thing to do, leaving the question of right and wrong up to each child’s own parents.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter-in-law invited me to a birthday party for my grandson and asked me to bring a casserole. I thought it was up to the hostess to provide the food.
Queenie, have the rules of etiquette changed?—Invitation Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is always such a thing as a “potluck dinner”, but cake and ice cream should be sufficient for a birthday party. However, these days your daughter-in-law may be having trouble getting to the grocery store.
Dear Queenie,
My sister insists on getting an RSVP in writing or by email for any event she is hosting, even if it’s just a regular Sunday afternoon family get-together. One time I RSVPed yes and then my car broke down the day before and I just couldn’t make it, so I called her and told her and she got mad and said I shouldn’t have said “yes” if I wasn’t sure I could come.
Queenie, how could I know my car was going to break down?—Fed up with RSVP
Dear Fed up,
Expecting an RSVP for an informal get-together is a little bit too much, and so is getting angry about something you couldn’t control.
However, couldn’t you have taken a bus, or even a taxi? Or do you live so far from your sister that that is not practical – or even possible?
Dear Queenie,
My son’s ex-wife is living with a man who was convicted one time for molesting a little girl. I’m worried about my granddaughter, but if I call the authorities I might not get to see my grandchildren again.
Queenie, should I tell my son or call the police or what should I do?—Worried Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Your granddaughter’s welfare should come first. By all means tell your son, and if he does not call the local child protection authorities you should do so. If they find cause to take the children away from their mother, they will probably place the children with your son or even with you. And if the children are left with their mother, you can see them when they visit their father, your son.
Dear Queenie,
My wife has a part-time job, but money is a problem these days and I need for her to get a full-time job, or at least one that pays better, but when I try to talk to her about it she gets mad and says I’m calling her lazy.
She’s not lazy. She works hard and takes care of the house and our daughter, but we don’t have any savings and with the rent we have to pay and the prices of things these days we just need more money.
Queenie, how can I make my wife understand?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
Don’t talk to your wife about getting a full-time job. Sit down with her and make up a family budget, starting with your combined income and the amount of money you think you should be putting away in savings every payday. Once she understands your financial situation clearly you can start discussing ways to improve it.
It may even turn out that you are the one who should get a better job. After all, if your wife goes to work full-time, you may have the added expense of childcare for your daughter while both her parents are at work.
