Dear Queenie,

  I am naturally slender and I eat healthy and work out to stay fit. People tell me all the time that I am too skinny and should try to put on some weight.

  Queenie, what’s a good way to answer them?—Slim Jane

Dear Slim Jane,

  You could just ignore the remarks. Or you could ask them why they would say something so rude. Or you could thank them and tell them how lucky you feel to be naturally slender and not have to diet to stay that way.

Dear Queenie,

  I found out that my husband’s parents are first cousins and he is very upset about it. I haven’t told his parents that I found this out about them.

  Queenie, should I say something to them or let them keep their secret even though we already know about it?—I know the truth

Dear Know the truth,

  I wonder whether your in-laws are “keeping their secret” or just do not think it is anything worth talking about. Marriage between first cousins is legal in many places and permitted under special circumstances in others. In biblical times it was quite common.

  Tell your husband’s parents what you found out and let them discuss it with their son so he can stop being upset about it.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m married to a church pastor who is an alcoholic who gambles and chases other women. We have had to move to new places several times because of his way with women.

  Most of our friends are people from the church and they all think my husband is the greatest. I have a part-time job but it’s not enough for me to support myself, so I can’t just move out.

  Queenie, what can I do?—Feeling trapped

Dear Feeling trapped,

  First, get professional counselling from someone not connected to your church, to help you clarify your thinking and sort out your options. Next, look for a full-time job.

  And I have to wonder, what kind of church and congregation would have a man such as you describe in the position of pastor?

Dear Queenie,

  I got married 20 years ago when I was still a teenager and now my children are in high school and college and I would like to do some of the things I never had a chance to do when I was their age.

  Queenie, is that wrong?—All grown up now and growing old

Dear Grown-up,

  If what you want to do is have some fun, and your husband is not interested, you could still go out with some of your women friends.

  You could also join a women’s sports club or a book club.

  If you did not finish high school, you might consider working to get your GED (general education diploma). Doing that would be very interesting in itself, and would provide interesting opportunities.