Dear Queenie,
Our daughter is in primary school and she wants to get a dog for her birthday. She’s a good kid and doing well in school and we don’t want her to be disappointed, but my husband and I both work hard and we leave our home empty for a good part of the day and the dog would be unattended.
Queenie, we want our daughter to be happy, but we don’t want a dog! Do you have any suggestions?—Frustrated parents
Dear Parents,
Would your daughter be interested in having a cat for a pet? Cats require much less care than dogs, and can easily be left alone for a good part of the day. And if you adopt an adult cat there is much less “toilet-training” involved.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going to be 14 in a couple of months and up to now I’ve always been happy and healthy, but lately I am just sad and lonesome. I used to be able to talk to my parents about everything but not this.
Queenie, how can I get some help?—Mixed up kid
Dear Kid,
I don’t know whether you are a boy or a girl, but either way it is natural for you to be having mixed-up feelings as your body changes and matures. Tell your parents, your family doctor, your favourite teacher or school counsellor about your feelings and they will give you some reassurance, or help you get professional counselling if they think you need it.
Dear Queenie,
For a couple of years I’ve been dating a man a lot older than me. He says he’s in love with me, but I don’t feel that way about him. Now he’s trying to make plans for us to be together for the rest of our lives and I just don’t want to be that close with him.
Queenie, how do I tell him it’s time for him to find someone else?—Not that interested
Dear Not that interested,
Tell him you enjoy being friends with him but you have not fallen in love with him and it is not going to happen, and he deserves to find someone who feels the same way about him as he feels about her, so it is time for both of you to move on.
He probably will not like hearing all this and may not be willing to accept it at first, but it will be better for both of you in the long run if you make this decision and stick to it.
Dear Queenie,
After I lost my job because the people I worked for moved somewhere else, I went back to school to try to get my degree. I’m a lot older than the other students and I just don’t get along with them. We don’t quarrel or anything, we just don’t have anything in common.
Queenie, should I quit school and try to find another job or stick with it in spite of these kids?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
You are more mature and have more experience than the other students, so of course you have a different outlook on life. Do not try to socialise with them, just stick to getting an education and your degree, because that will give you many more career opportunities than you would have if you quit school now.
Meanwhile, if you have the time, you may be able to find a social life by volunteering with a community organisation.
Dear Queenie,
My elderly neighbor sits on his patio naked where I can see him from my kitchen window. I guess he thinks no one can see him.
His wife died a couple of years ago and I don’t know him very well at all.
Queenie, could he be getting senile? Anyway, what can I do?—Seeing too much
Dear Seeing too much,
Your neighbour may be getting senile, or he may just think nobody can see him.
You could put an anonymous note in his mailbox, but if his patio is located where no one else could possibly see him, he would probably guess that it comes from you.
If you know any of his friends or relatives you could mention this to them and ask them to speak to him about it and to be sure to keep your name out of it.
Meanwhile, I suggest you put new curtains over your kitchen window and do not look out when you think he might be there.
