Dear Queenie,
For several years I have been taking care of a family’s children while the parents go to work, since the kids were babies. I always give the kids a gift on their birthdays and Christmas, and the mother when she has another baby, but it’s getting to be more than I can afford.
Queenie, will it be enough if I just congratulate them without a gift?—Not Santa Claus
Dear Not Santa,
It will be more than enough. Just send a nice “Congratulations” or “Happy Birthday” or “Merry Christmas” card, as appropriate for the occasion.
Dear Queenie,
I need to have my teeth checked, but I’m afraid of going to a dentist.
Queenie, is there such a person as a dentist who really cares about how you feel?—Tooth Achy
Dear Tooth Achy,
Any dentist who hopes to be successful cares about how his (or her) patients feel. And these days there are many forms of painkiller that can make the procedure pretty much painless. When you make the appointment tell the person what you need, and if they cannot help you, ask to be referred to a dentist who can.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter-in-law invited me to a birthday party for my grandson and asked me to bring a casserole. I thought it was up to the hostess to provide the food.
Queenie, have the rules of etiquette changed?—Invitation Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is always such a thing as a “potluck dinner”, but cake and ice cream should be sufficient for a birthday party. However, these days your daughter-in-law may be having trouble getting to the grocery store.
Dear Queenie,
My parents told me about sex and all that when I was going into my teens, and by that time I had heard about it from other children, but not all of what they had told me was right.
Queenie, how old should my children be when I tell them about all that?—Young mother
Dear Mother,
Teachers of young children advise that children be told the basics of sex education before they start elementary school. They suggest putting the emphasis on what is the smart thing to do rather than what is the right thing to do, leaving the question of right and wrong up to each child’s own parents.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s ex-wife is living with a man who was convicted one time for molesting a little girl. I’m worried about my granddaughter, but if I call the authorities I might not get to see my grandchildren again.
Queenie, should I tell my son or call the police or what should I do?—Worried Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Your granddaughter’s welfare should come first. By all means tell your son, and if he does not call the local child protection authorities you should do so. If they find cause to take the children away from their mother, they will probably place the children with your son or even with you. And if the children are left with their mother, you can see them when they visit their father, your son.
