Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine was badly injured when a man broke into his home and beat him up while he was robbing him. My friend’s only relative is a son who lives far away. I keep in touch with him and he says it’s up to his father to make decisions for himself as long as he can, and my friend’s doctors say he is able to do so.
My friend is still recovering, but he mostly has to stay in bed and he is very depressed. I check on him every day and he hardly eats anything, just wants to stay in bed, smoke and drink rum until he dies. I don’t want to help him die by giving him things like tobacco and liquor, but if I don’t he will just live longer in misery. To get well, he needs stop smoking and drinking, eat good food and get some exercise, and he thinks he just can’t do all that.
Queenie, am I wrong to do for him what he wants?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
I would say you are being compassionate, but the fact is that no matter what he may say, your friend is committing suicide slowly with all his smoking and drinking. And also, smoking and drinking in bed is risking having a fire.
You cannot force your friend to do what he needs to do to get better, but do your best to persuade him to do it.
