Dear Queenie,
When people write to you for help, why do you so often try to pass them on to someone else, like telling them to get professional counselling?
Queenie, if they wanted to make such a big thing of it they would. They just want your advice for some small problem.—Critical reader
Dear Critical,
Very often the “small problem” is merely a symptom of a much larger one. To give a (fictitious) example:
Suppose someone tells me they recently bought a US $10 product for which they should have received a 10 per cent discount and paid for it with a $10 bill, and asks how much change they should have received. The simple answer, of course, is $1 change. However, a person who cannot figure this out for him- or herself apparently is unable to do simple arithmetic and (depending on his/her age) should either pay more attention in school or go back to school, or to remedial school, to learn what he/she should have learned originally in primary school.
Similarly, people who ask how to deal with specific relationship problems that seem to be symptoms of (or related to) larger issues need more help than I can give them in one short column, so I will suggest that they consult a qualified professional who can help them learn what said larger issues are and how to deal with them effectively.
