“I got a God, don’t change with the season
Ooh, no, look, yeah
Ten thou’ reasons I can believe in, ooh
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)”
Driving in Cole Bay on Tuesday morning and I pass Castel (flick, flick with lights). Why was he on the road so early? More importantly, why was he on the Dutch side so early? “I need to ask him,” I thought, and then I started to think about how much I wouldn’t want to disappoint him – generally speaking, of course, but really more so on the spiritual front.
I’m sure you want some back story.
Castel and I met in 2007 or 2008 or somewhere around that time. We became close friends right before I left for New York, which was probably in 2011. Hopefully I’m getting these dates right, because I’m writing this without consulting him … LOL!
We started meeting up weekly for Bible study. He’s probably told me why, but I’m still not sure why he took any interest in me then. While I was away in college, I needed an accountability partner and he had an alarm set in his phone to text me every day at 6:00pm. That was a huge deal for me because… well…he didn’t have to. He didn’t need to check in on me daily and we were also occasionally still doing Bible study via Skype, which was like ZOOM back then.
He’s been like a constant in my life throughout the years; one of my tattoos is even in reference to him. His daughter is my goddaughter and I call his wife my fairy godmother – Hi Wanda!
For the most part, he’s my brother; but he’s also my spiritual leader. I’m his personal security and his cup bearer. I mean I do walk strapped, so haters better know what’s good before they step up. You smell me? Nah, I’m playing. Or am I?
There’s a lot that I’ve learned from Castel. And I know he’s going to say that he’s learned a lot from me too, but that’s not what we’re discussing – are we? Okay, so back to the disappointing him thingy.
I just feel like he sees so much in me. He sees a potential in me that I have YET to realize, and even though he tries to push me to that place, he never forces me to operate from that place – signs of an amazing leader.
I guess it’s because I’m so hard on myself. I’ve said this before, but it’s hard to see your potential and grow when you beat yourself up for the bad and give yourself no credit for the good. Pressure apparently creates diamonds, but I don’t think the analogy works when the “diamond to be” is applying said pressure to itself. That sounds like a job for “pressure buss pipe”.
Like, I have grown – a lot – in all areas, but in this case, especially spiritually. I’m definitely not in the same place and space that I was in last year. Ain’t nobody got time for 2019, Cam. Mista was an issue.
Moral of the story: I’d take jail time if any of you mess with my Abraham Clan AND Castel is a huge inspiration and motivation to me.
*Yo, Siri, play 10K by KB.*