Dear Queenie,

  When my husband and I got divorced I got half of everything we owned and my husband is mad about it because he was the one who had a job and brought home all the money. But I never had time to get a job because I took care of our children and helped them with their homework, and kept the home clean and cooked all the meals.

  My ex is a good father and I make sure he gets to see the kids as much as we agreed on, but he still gets mad about the division of our assets and the amount of child support and alimony he has to pay.

  Queenie, should I take less so maybe he will get over it?—Ex-wife

Dear Ex-wife,

  There is no assurance that your ex will “get over it” if you take less than you are entitled to.

  People often do not realise the value of the part you have played in your family life. They do not stop to think what it would cost them if they had to pay an outsider – a maid, a babysitter, a tutor – to do the work you have done. Perhaps an outside mediator could point these facts out to your ex.

Dear Queenie,

  My sister has 2 small children but she is always leaving them with me or our parents while she goes out to have a good time. If we are too busy or just don’t want to watch the kids for her she gets mad, but if we don’t watch them she will leave them with strangers.

  Queenie, what to do?—Fed-up sister

Dear Sister,

  For the children’s sake, try to be patient with their mother.

  And if she ever does leave them with “strangers”, try to make sure those persons are competent and caring.

Dear Queenie,

  My ex-husband has married the woman he had an affair with while we were still married, and she won’t let him have anything to do with me unless she is there too, which means he can’t even visit our daughter unless she comes along. She won’t even let me talk to him on the phone about our daughter unless she listens in.

  Queenie, do I have to put up with all this?—Angry ex-wife

Dear Ex-wife,

  Your ex-husband’s new wife knows from experience just how capable he is of cheating on his wife.

  You are not wrong to be annoyed, but the fact is that this woman is now your daughter’s stepmother and will be involved in raising her, so if you do not put up with the woman’s behaviour your daughter will be the worst loser.

  Try to put up with her – as civilly as you can manage.

Dear Queenie,

  Our oldest daughter has graduated from college and has a job but still lives with us to save money.

  Recently she started dating a guy and fell hard for him, so now she spends all her time with him and we hardly ever see her.

  I think if she still lives at home she should spend some time with her family and at least come home to sleep.

  Queenie, am I being old-fashioned?—Worried mother

Dear Mother,

  Let your daughter know you miss her and would like to see her more often.

  Also, invite the boyfriend to join you for meals and other activities so you can get to know him. After all, he may even become your son-in-law.