Dear Queenie,
My husband’s parents live with us, so they are always there to take care of the children when we want to go out or just have some private time together. We can even go on vacation just the two of us without having to worry about the children.
However, my husband has two brothers and his parents never do anything with them. They hardly even know their other grandchildren.
Queenie, I feel like I should apologize to my sisters-in-law, but what do I say to them?—Favorite daughter-in-law
Dear Daughter-in-law,
Your sisters-in-law may not get along with their mother-in-law as well as you do.
You can suggest to your mother-in-law that she spend a little more time with her other grandchildren, and you can invite the families to your home now and then to give her a chance to see them – and hope that they all get along with her as well as you would like to see.
Dear Queenie,
My husband thinks he should have the passwords to my phone and my email account. I don’t have anything to hide, but I think I’m entitled to some privacy.
Queenie, what do you think?—Annoyed wife
Dear Wife,
Wanting some privacy does not mean you have anything to hide. Don’t you close the door when you go to the toilet?
Your husband may not trust you, or he may not have any interests of his own to keep him occupied. However, I cannot give you a final answer to your question with so little information about other aspects of your relationship. Professional counselling might help you find the answer you are seeking, especially if you can persuade your husband to go with you.
Dear Queenie,
My brothers and sisters and I always get together at our parents’ house with our husbands and wives on holidays. One of my brothers-in-law refuse to attend because he doesn’t get along with the rest of us, so my sister takes a plate of food home for him.
My mother says she shouldn’t do this. She told my sister that if her husband wants the food from the party he should attend and learn to be civil.
Queenie, what do you think?—Curious sister
Dear Sister,
I think your mother is right. Your brother-in-law is doing everyone a favour by not being there if he cannot get along with you, but he does not deserve to be rewarded with food. If he cannot learn to at least be civil, let him fix his own food or order takeout.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and her mother talk to each other during the day, but every night her mother calls again while we are eating dinner or after the kids have gone to bed. It seems like whenever we have some time alone together Mama manages to butt in with a phone call.
Queenie, am I asking too much to have some time together with my wife without her mother butting in?—Angry husband
Dear Husband,
No, you are not asking too much.
If your wife cannot explain this to her mother, or if Mama refuses to cooperate with the boundary you request, you can always turn off the phone (or take it off the hook if it is a landline) during the time you do not want to receive her calls.
Dear Queenie,
The other day when I walked into my son’s bedroom he was [masturbating – Ed.] I was so embarrassed I started to laugh. I told him he should keep his door closed and cover himself up when he does things like that, but I couldn’t stop laughing all the time.
Queenie, now what should I do?—Flustered mother
Dear Mother,
Apologise to your son for laughing and explain that it was because you were embarrassed, and from now on knock before you go into his room even if the door is open.
Then have his father or some other man in the family or the family doctor have a talk with him about sex and growing up
