Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend is a real gentleman. He even opens doors for me, which I usually like, especially if I am carrying things. But he even opens the car door for me when I am the one who is driving.
Queenie, is this proper etiquette?—Driving Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Yes. But if it makes you uncomfortable when you are the driver, ask him not to do it then.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend used to be an alcoholic until she joined Alcoholics Anonymous and stopped drinking, but now she seems to be addicted to cough medicine, she takes it all the time.
Queenie, should I talk to her doctor about this?—Worried boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
First you should talk to your girlfriend. There is alcohol in cough medicines, so she is still an alcoholic and should still be going to AA.
And if her doctor prescribed the cough medicine(s) make sure he/she knows about his/her patient’s alcoholism – it is an ailment that never goes away, it just becomes dormant if the person stops drinking alcohol.
Dear Queenie,
Someone I know talks about themself all the time and never lets anyone else get in a word. If I try to say something they just keep talking, or they end the conversation and walk away.
Queenie, how can I handle this without hurting their feelings?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
No matter what you do besides listen to them, their feelings probably will be hurt.
This person may not even realise that they do not give anyone else a chance to talk. Ask them if they have trouble hearing you and tell them gently that you would like to have a chance to tell them something – and hope they are willing to listen to what you are saying.
Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law uses so much perfume that we have to open the windows to air out the house when she visits. We have tried to talk to her about this and ask her not to use so much when she comes to visit us but nothing changes.
Queenie, what more can we do?—Stunck-up
Dear Stunck-up,
Your mother-in-law may not have much sense of smell, especially if she is getting on in years, and may not realise how strong the scent of her perfume is. Keep asking her not to use so much, or not to use any perfume at all, when she visits you.
And you may find that wearing a mask to protect you from COVID-19 will also at least help to protect you from your mother-in-law’s perfume.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine lost her father when he was killed in a traffic accident.
Queenie, how can I help her get through this terrible time?—Sympathetic friend
Dear Friend,
Let her know you are sorry about her loss and will listen if and when she wants to talk to you about it. She probably will behave differently for a while – sad or angry, wanting to be alone, or surrounded with friends.
Do not try to help her “get over it”. One does not “get over” a loss like that, but in time she will learn to deal with her loss and get on with her life.
