Dear Queenie,
My wife is a flirt and always has been – that is how I met her. One time she told a repairman in our home, flirtingly, to come back and see her some time.
I’ve told her I don’t like to hear things like that, and what if the man takes her up on it? But she says I should know she doesn’t really mean anything by it and not to let it bother me.
I say she should not talk to other men that way. She says she’s not doing anything wrong.
Queenie, who is right?—Angry husband
Dear Husband,
It is disrespectful to you for your wife to talk to other men that way, even though you know she does not mean anything by it and will not follow through if they try to take her up on it. Remind her how much you love her, how much it hurts your feelings when she behaves that way and what trouble she could be in if some man does take her up on it. Then let it go and hope she will behave better in the future.
Dear Queenie,
I went to a restaurant for dinner with some friends and they paid the bill for all of us, including the tip for the waitress. When we were leaving I got a look at the bill and the tip they left was just the minimum amount.
I used to wait on tables at a restaurant and I know what a hard time that waitress had with us, so I added something to the tip.
Queenie, did I do something wrong?—Generous patron
Dear Generous patron,
If anyone had seen you looking at the bill and adding to the tip they might have been offended, so that was not a good idea. As it was not your party you were not responsible for the tip, but you could have just discretely left something under your plate, or thanked the waitress on your way out and slipped it to her then.
Dear Queenie,
Our parents owned a house together and after Dad died Mom became the sole owner. Many years later she got married again to a divorced man with children from his previous marriage.
Queenie, we wish our mother a long and happy life, but we have to wonder who will inherit the house if something should happen to her?—Sons and daughters with questions
Dear Sons and daughters,
That will depend on the terms of your father’s will, if he left one, and the terms of your mother’s will, if she leaves one when her time comes.
Consult a lawyer to find out about your father’s will (if any) and encourage your mother to make a will as soon as possible if she has not already done so.
Dear Queenie,
My husband just turned 40 and I’m a couple of years younger. We have 3 daughters and my husband has always wanted a son. The youngest girl is just a few weeks old and I had a difficult time while I was pregnant, with serious major complications, according to my doctor.
Now my husband is already talking about trying again for a boy. I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life pining for the son he never had, but even if we try there is no guarantee that it will be a boy.
Queenie, do you think it is worth trying again?—Middle-aged mother
Dear Mother,
The person you should be asking this question is your obstetrician – and take your husband along with you when you ask.
As you say, there is no guarantee that this time you would have a boy, but it is highly likely that you would have serious complications during and possibly after the pregnancy. Is your husband willing to risk your future health, and possibly your life, for a child that may well turn out to be another girl? Personally, I do not recommend it.
Dear Queenie,
Recently I found out about some bad things that were done by a person with the same name as mine. I would be ashamed to have anyone think that it was me or that I have any connection to that person.
Queenie, do you think I should change my name?—Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
Unless your name is unique, or at least very uncommon, I doubt that anyone would make that connection, and if they did you could explain that it was someone else with the same name.
And if you decide to change your name, you had better do some research on people with the name you are choosing, just to be on the safe side. You would not want to find yourself in the same position again (or worse) after a name change.
