Dear Queenie,
My husband’s father is getting old and has a woman who comes in every day to take care of him and his house. My husband has got real friendly with this woman and they spend a lot of time talking and texting to each other every day. I think they are in love and have had sex together.
My marriage hasn’t been very good for a long time and this just makes things worse.
Queenie, should I give up and ask for a divorce?—Fed-up wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband’s relationship with his father’s caregiver may not last after his father no longer needs her – if his father goes to live in a care facility or when he dies.
However, if you think a divorce will make your life better and you can prove that your husband has not been faithful, consult a lawyer and go ahead with it.
Dear Queenie,
When people get drunk it seems like all they can talk about is themselves.
Queenie, why is that?—Just curious
Dear Just curious,
Maybe because getting drunk is the only way they can relax and loosen up their inhibitions, or because drunkenness impairs their judgement and makes them think they are fascinating and you are interested in what they are saying.
Dear Queenie,
My husband went on retirement recently but he isn’t enjoying it. He doesn’t have any hobbies or anything to do to keep busy and I think he is getting depressed.
Queenie, how can I help him?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Not everyone enjoys being retired. However, there are many outlets in any community for someone who wants to keep busy, especially if they have special skills that would be of use to others and/or that they could teach to younger persons. Your husband might be able to find a part-time job, or he could ask around for a list of organisations that need volunteers.
Dear Queenie,
My parents haven’t been getting along for the past year or so and I think they are going to get a divorce.
Queenie, how can I stop this from happening?—Worried daughter
Dear Daughter,
Ask one or both of your parents what is going on, but try to understand that there is nothing you can do to prevent them from breaking up, if that is what is happening. However, you can suggest that they get professional counselling, and maybe help them to do so.
Dear Queenie,
The woman who takes care of my children while I’m at work always comes to work a few minutes late, which makes me late getting to work. My boss understands, but it might cause a problem sometime.
Other than that she is great with my children and takes care of the house while I am out so I want to stick with her, but I wish I could I get her to be on time.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Punctual Mother
Dear Mother,
You can ask her to try to come on time, but if she relies on buses or taxis for transportation she may have a problem, even if she leaves her house a little earlier to come to yours.
You could dock her pay for lateness or just have her stay a little longer (as much longer as she was late), and if it will help with your own boss, stay at your job a little longer – as much longer as she was late.
