Dear Queenie,
Our daughter got some tattoos on her arms on her arms and legs. She’s an adult and can do as she likes, but we think she is disrespecting us because we don’t believe in disfiguring the body God gave you and she knows how we feel about such things.
Queenie, what do you think about all this?—Angry parents
Dear Parents,
Apparently your daughter does not share your beliefs, or considers her tattoos more “decorative” than “disfiguring” – like wearing accessories that she cannot ever lose (or take off when she is with you).
If the tattoos disturb you that much, ask your daughter to wear long sleeves and long pants to cover them up when she is with you, but please do not let this have a seriously bad effect on your relationship with her.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have a new baby boy and we are so happy with him, but recently he told me he only married me because he wanted to have children. He says he’s not “in love” with me, but he does care about me, and he does take good care of me and the baby and he’s a good provider and I’m happy with him and I don’t want a divorce.
However, my best friend says my son will never learn how to love a woman if I stay with his father.
Queenie, is my friend right?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
No, your friend is not right. Your son will love you and his father and that is how he will learn about loving people of both genders. If you are truly happy with your husband, your friend should envy you, not make judgements about him and your relationship with him.
Dear Queenie,
I am single and I don’t have any children or any other family near here where I live. I have a cat that has been my best friend and companion for many years, but I know I will lose her sooner or later but I don’t know how I will deal with it when it happens.
Queenie, can you help me?—Love my cat
Dear Love my cat,
I know just how you feel. It is a sad thing that our pets have so much shorter life spans than we do.
I too have a cat – in fact, more than one. I make it a point to always have two, an older one and a younger one (not a kitten, just younger). When the older one dies, the younger one is there with me to comfort me – and I can tell by its behaviour that it also misses the one that is gone.
Soon after the sad event, I will adopt another, even younger, cat (not a kitten) to keep us both company. Please note: I always adopt my cats from an animal welfare group, and take comfort in knowing that the loss of my older cat has resulted in a benefit for one in need of a good home. That does not make up for the loss I (we) have suffered, but it does ease the pain a little.
Dear Queenie,
My parents’ house is full of stuff they have piled up over the years. It’s embarrassing when someone come to visit.
I have offered to help them sort it all out and get rid of some of it, but they won’t even try. They don’t think there is any problem.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about it?—Disgusted daughter
Dear Daughter,
It is your parents’ house and it is up to them how they keep it. There may be a psychological condition known as “hoarding” involved.
If you are still living in your parents’ home, arrange to move out as soon as you can. In the meantime, keep your own part of the home as neat and clean as you can.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and I have a lot of friends, but all they talk about is boys and dating, and some of them drink beer and liquor or do drugs.
Queenie, I would like to have an exciting life, but I don’t want to get into any trouble. Help!—Bored teenager
Dear Teenager,
Community service can be exciting. Contact some of the local service organisations – Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions, or Jaycees, for example, or, if you like animals, an animal welfare organisation – and learn what opportunities there are for you to spend time volunteering with one of them.
I guarantee, you will find excitement.
