Dear Queenie,
My husband has a relative who was convicted for a sex offence and I don’t like having him visit our house with us and our children. I don’t like coming between my husband and his relative, but I have to think about keeping the kids safe.
Queenie, how do I make my husband understand?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Of course you (and your husband!) have to do what is best for your children. Both of you should keep a close eye on the children when this person visits you, and do not ever let him stay overnight.
Dear Queenie,
One of my relatives always comes late when I invite them for a meal, no matter what time I tell them in the invitation, and it spoils the meal for everyone else.
Queenie, how can I get them to come on time?—Fed-up hostess
Dear Hostess,
Do not make your other guests, or yourself if there are no others, wait for this late-comer. Start the meal at the designated time and when the late-comer shows up just serve them whatever everyone else is eating then. If the late-comer only shows up in time for dessert (or not even in time for that!), too bad for them. Hopefully, having this happen once or twice will teach them to be more punctual.
Dear Queenie,
I have a good relationship with my teenage son, but my daughter, 2 years younger, is just a brat, spoiled rotten by her father, and me too I guess. She will be going away to college in a couple of years and I would like things to be better between us before that happens.
Queenie, how can I do that?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
As usual, I recommend professional counselling for both of you, and possibly for your husband if you can get him to go, because this relationship includes all three of you.
Dear Queenie,
I love my wife, but she doesn’t like to have sex with me and she’s not very good at it when she does. I’ve tried to explain to her what I would like from her but she either doesn’t listen or doesn’t understand or just doesn’t care and things don’t get any better.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
Have you given any thought to what your wife would like from you when it comes to sex? The two of you should see a marriage counsellor and/or a professional sex therapist and both of you should listen carefully to what that/those person(s) tell you.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend has a big picture of her former husband (now deceased) that she keeps next to her pictures of us together and she still wears her wedding ring. I have suggested that she put the picture away, or at least move it somewhere else, but she won’t do it.
Queenie, she doesn’t think this should be a problem. What do you think?—Her new boyfriend
Dear New boyfriend,
I think your girlfriend may not have yet gotten over her husband’s death. Ask her to keep the picture somewhere else and suggest that she might want to join a grief support group. If she will not do that, or if she does and it does not help, you may want to consider whether you want to stay with her.
