Dear Queenie,
My wife is a social person, but I am a loner. She keeps pestering me to go out with friends with her, but I just don’t enjoy that sort of thing. I like doing things with her and our children, but not with a lot of other people.
Queenie, how can I make her understand?—Antisocial husband
Dear Husband,
Married people usually socialise together. Try to go along with your wife’s wishes at least occasionally.
If your dislike for socialising is too strong, it may be a psychological disorder, in which case I recommend professional counselling. Your family doctor can refer you to a specialist.
Dear Queenie,
When my parents-in-law came to visit us they expected us to spend all our time with them. However, one day when they were here was a very special occasion for my own parents and we arranged to spend that evening with them. Then my in-laws kept pushing us to go out to dinner with them that same night. We agreed to go, planning to eat quickly and then go to my parents for the rest of the evening, but the dinner lasted very long – other people came late and service was very slow – and by the time we got to my parents’ home everyone else had gone already and my parents were mad that we hadn’t been there.
Queenie, what should we have done?—In-law Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You could have set a time you would stay with your in-laws that evening and left when that time was up, no matter what. Or your spouse could have spent the evening with their parents while you spent the evening with yours.
Hopefully things will go better the next time your in-laws visit.
Dear Queenie,
I get migraine headaches very often and one of my neighbors tries to help by coming over all the time to visit. My husband has asked her to stop, but she still does it.
Queenie, I don’t want to offend her, but how can I get her to leave me alone?—Aching head
Dear Aching head,
Tell this well-meaning neighbour (politely and gratefully!) that she is making your headache worse when she comes to visit when you have a headache, and you will let her know when you feel well enough to visit with her.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 60s and I look like you would expect at my age. My boyfriend says I should get some surgery to make me look better (younger).
Queenie, what do you think?—Elderly girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
I think such surgery would be expensive and (at any age) there would be some risk involved. Is your boyfriend willing to help pay for the surgery? Is he aware of the risk? And has he considered the fact that if you start to look younger you might start looking for (and possibly find) another, more considerate, boyfriend?
Dear Queenie,
My husband wants to have an affair. He hasn’t yet, but he does have contact with other women and doesn’t tell me about it so I have to wonder what is going to happen and it keeps me from feeling affectionate towards him, which makes things worse.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Marriage counselling might help. If it does not, you had better start planning how to live on your own, because you may have to do so.
