Dear Queenie,
A few years ago my husband invited a co-worker and his family to our home for a holiday celebration because they had just moved here and didn’t have any family here or know very many people beyond the ones they worked with.
Since then they have settled in and made friends with other people we do not know and my husband was never very close with them, but they still assume they are invited to our place for holidays.
Queenie, how do we let them know they are not welcome all the time, especially when it’s a family occasion?—Fed-up host
Dear Host,
Your husband should let his co-worker know – gently, politely, and in plenty of time for them to make other arrangements – that you are holding smaller festivities these days and these occasions are for family only, no other guests.
Dear Queenie,
My elderly father is in an old people’s nursing home and I have seen how the people who work there treat him. They seem to think because he is very old he must be senile. He isn’t, he is only in the home because of his physical ailments that are too much for me to handle.
It’s hard for him to be there after all the years he spent taking care of other people. At least they should treat him with the dignity he deserves.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about this?—Loving son
Dear Son,
You can talk to the management of the facility about your complaints. It is possible that many of the people working there are volunteers who have not been properly or professionally trained for the work they have to do. It is very hard work and the place may not have enough staff.
Dear Queenie,
I went out with a girl a couple of times, but things just weren’t right for me so I said goodbye and stopped calling her, but she keeps on calling and texting me and trying to keep things going.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Not interested
Dear Not interested,
Tell her – politely – that you are sorry, but you just are not interested in any further relationship with her and you wish she would stop calling and texting you. Then just ignore her. And be patient. It may take her a while to give up on you.
Dear Queenie,
My aunt is a lawyer and recently at a family dinner I asked her a question about my job. My father immediately scolded me for asking for free legal advice. I pointed out to him that people often ask me questions that have to do with my kind of work.
Queenie, was I wrong or was he?—Advice Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Lawyers, accountants, doctors and other professionals who specifically get paid for advising their clients/patients often get asked for free advice outside their work environment. Usually they do not mind answering a quick simple question, but how they respond is up to them.
And I have to ask you, does your kind of work involve getting paid for the advice you give?
Dear Queenie,
My aunt offered to host a family dinner for Easter, but my uncle had lost his job so my grandfather said we should all chip in to pay for it and we should all bring some food. He says this will be okay because it would cost us all a lot more to go out to a restaurant for the dinner.
Queenie, what do you think?—Hosting Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I see no problem with it. Just be grateful that you are not the one who has lost their job and has financial problems.
