Dear Queenie,
My wife cheated on me with her sister’s husband’s brother at her sister’s house, so I don’t let her visit her sister without me.
Queenie, I know her sister will keep on trying to break up our marriage. What can I do?—Fed-up husband
Dear Husband,
Your wife will have to tell her sister that she does not want to cheat on you, and it is up to your wife to stick to that ultimatum. Your wife has to make her sister understand the consequences of her behaviour. Meanwhile, your wife should not visit her sister without you.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 40s, divorced, with teenage children. I’ve been dating a man a little older than me, also divorced with teenage children. Sometimes we disagree and even argue about unimportant things and he gets over these arguments quickly, but I don’t and I am starting to wonder if I should keep seeing him.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Lonely divorcee
Dear Divorcee,
Spending time with someone who does not make you feel happy, just to avoid feeling lonely, is not a solution to your problem. If you are not happy spending time with this man, no, you should not keep seeing him.
Dear Queenie,
When you send greeting cards, like at Christmas, to a family that has grown-up children still living with their parents, can you send one card for the whole family or should you send one card for the parents and a separate card for each of the children?—Greeting card Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It is alright to send one card for the whole family, but it is a good idea to list all of their names on the envelope (if there is enough space!) and inside on the card as well, to make it clear that the good wishes are intended for all of them.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been friends with another couple, his best friend from when they were kids and the friend’s wife, for a long time, but for a while I have had the idea that my husband and the other wife were getting too fond of each other. He knows how I feel about them and sometimes he visits them without me.
I don’t want my husband to stop being friends with them, but I keep telling him I don’t want us to see them so often. I tried to talk to him about why I don’t want to see them so much, but he just laughed at me and said there wasn’t anything to talk about.
Queenie, am I being foolish about all this?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
There probably is not anything wrong going on between your husband and his friend’s wife, but your husband is not giving much consideration to you and how you feel on the subject. Tell him you will stop complaining about it if he will show a little more respect for your feelings.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married, but she doesn’t want to give up her family name.
Queenie, does this mean she isn’t really ready to make a commitment to me?—Worried boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
Many women prefer to keep their maiden name (the family name they were born with) for professional reasons, others out of loyalty to their birth family. As a compromise, it is common for a woman to hyphenate the two names. Would you be willing to have her do this? If not, perhaps both of you should reconsider whether you are ready for marriage.
