Dear Queenie,
My husband and I got married after he divorced his first wife because he fell in love with me. His children, who are all grown up with families of their own, resent me because of what they think I did to their mother, but it was him that did it, not me. I didn’t have anything to do with him until after his divorce.
Now his children are rude to me and they are telling him he should divorce me too, like he did their mother.
Queenie, shouldn’t he put our marriage first, before his grown-up children?—Fed-up second wife
Dear Fed-up,
Your husband should see his children alone, without you, and insist that even if they do not like you, at least they should treat you with respect.
A professional counsellor might be able to help the two of you work out a solution to your problem.
Dear Queenie,
I have a list of friends and relatives that I send presents to on Christmas and their birthdays. Some of them send me presents too and most of them at least send me a card, but there are a few I never hear from at all.
Queenie, should I cut the ones I don’t hear from off my list?—Fed-up gift-giver
Dear Fed-up,
Spend your time and energy (and money) on the ones who let you know they appreciate it. You can also donate to hospitals and/or care organisations.
As for the ones you do not hear from, you can continue to send them a card or a hand-written note if you want to let them know they are not forgotten.
Dear Queenie,
A gay couple moved into our neighborhood recently and most of the others who live here have accepted them and think we are bigots for not doing so because it is against our religion.
Queenie, should we go against our religion just to please the others?—Concerned religious neighbor
Dear Neighbor,
Sexual orientation is born-in, it is not a matter of choice. You might be happier in a less-integrated neighbourhood, but you should take this opportunity for mental and emotional growth by accepting people who are “different”.
I wish you and your new neighbours well.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school. My father died when I was in second grade and a man in our church became my mentor and has become like a father to me, but he hits me with a strap when he thinks I have been bad. I haven’t told my mother about this so she doesn’t know.
Queenie, I like everything else about this man, but not the beatings. What can I do?—Unhappy boy
Dear Boy,
This man has no right to hit you. What he is doing to you is abusive. You should tell your mother or a teacher or school counsellor about it and let them take the appropriate steps.
Dear Queenie,
Some friends of ours do not have soap in their bathroom. We take soap with us when we visit them, but unless they do too, nobody else can wash their hands properly after they go to the toilet. And we are concerned that our friends prepare food for us to eat when they have not been able to wash their hands properly.
We have tried giving them fancy soaps and a fancy soap dish, but things don’t change.
Queenie, what more can we do?—Concerned friends
Dear Friends,
Maybe your friends take soap with them when they go to the bathroom, but do not leave it there. And there should be soap there for visitors.
Have you talked to your friends about this? Try showing them this letter and hope things improve.
