Dear Queenie,
Very often someone will tell me how lucky I am to have a wife who loves me so much. I feel like this is an insult, not a compliment, because it’s as if I don’t deserve to have a wonderful marriage and family.
Queenie, what’s a good way to answer them?—Offended husband
Dear Husband,
People who say such things may be thinking about the way things are between them and their spouses. Just smile and say something like, “Yes, we’re lucky to have each other.”
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I tried living together but it didn’t work out so we separated, but in the meantime we had a daughter. My ex is a great mother and now she has a new boyfriend who is also very good with our daughter and I only get to see my child a couple of times a week on my days off and I wish I could get more time with her but how can that happen unless her mother and I get back together?
Queenie, what can I do?—Father missing my daughter
Dear Father,
It would not be fair to your child’s mother to get back together with her only for the child’s sake. However, she might be more than willing to let you have more time with your child. Talk it over with her and see how she feels about the idea.
Dear Queenie,
My husband likes to play video games and every night after dinner he goes to the computer to play while I sit and watch TV and check my phone. I don’t have fun doing this and I would like to go out and do things but he says all the things I want to do cost too much money.
Queenie, what can I do to make things better?—Bored housewife
Dear Housewife,
After working all day your husband probably just wants to relax, but perhaps you can schedule things to do on the weekends. If necessary, make a budget so that you can afford to go out together at least a couple of times per month.
Dear Queenie,
A few years after our daughter was born I found out my husband was cheating on me and we ended up getting divorced and I have custody of our daughter. I’m trying to do the right thing and if I start playing around I could lose custody, but I miss having someone besides a child to share my life with.
Queenie, what can I do?—Lonely mother
Dear Mother,
There is no reason you cannot have a social life, but, as you say, within reason because of your child. If friends and family do not offer you social outlets, consider joining a community-service organisation that will give you something productive to do and will also offer some social outlets. Eventually, if you are lucky, you will meet someone to share your life with in a way that will be socially and legally acceptable.
Dear Queenie,
My next door neighbor has a part-time job (just a couple of days a week) at an office next to where I work, so on the days they work they also drive me to work, because I don’t have a driver’s license.
I work full-time (five days a week) and on the days my neighbor doesn’t work one of the people I work with picks me up on their way to work and takes me home at the end of the day, and I pay them for doing it because they have to go out of their way for me, but I don’t pay my neighbor because they don’t have to go out of their way for me.
Recently when we had to stop for gas my neighbor asked me to help pay for the gas.
Queenie, is this fair? It’s not as if taking me to work costs them anything extra and I’m on a tight budget.—Car pool Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Your neighbour is doing you a favour and if they stop you will have to make other arrangements which probably will cost you a lot more than the gas money they asked you for. Ask your neighbour how much they want you to pay and if it is more than you can afford try to work out a compromise.
