Dear Queenie,
My mother eats a lot of junk food and is very fat. I tried to talk to her about watching her diet and losing some weight but it didn’t make any difference.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried daughter
Dear Daughter,
You have talked to your mother about this and it did not help. Is your father in the picture on all this? If he is, maybe if he says something it will help, or maybe he already has spoken his piece and your mother ignored him. Beyond all that, until your mother decides for herself to eat better and lose some weight, there is nothing more you can do.
Dear Queenie,
My sister’s children do not call me “Aunt”, they just call me by my name the same as their parents.
Queenie, I find this very rude. What do you think?—Offended aunt
Dear Offended aunt,
You should talk to your sister about this. Childen repeat what they hear their parents say, and it is up to the parents to explain to them what they should call you and how they should address you, and to enforce the rule.
Dear Queenie,
My sister was a lot older than me and we never had a close relationship. When we grew up we lived in different places, far apart from each other, and only saw each other at family events like weddings.
When she died I was the only living member of her close family (parents, 2 brothers and me, she didn’t have any children) so I am the one who has to take care of everything she left behind, including the diaries she kept over the years.
Queenie, is it okay for me to read them? I can finally get to know her.—Bereaved sister
Dear Sister,
My condolences on your loss.
I think it would be good for you to read your sister’s diaries. It is sad that you did not get to know her well while she was still living, but at least now you will find out what your sister was really like and what you missed out on by not knowing her better.
Dear Queenie,
My wife doesn’t do well at events where there are a lot of people. She just doesn’t understand what people are saying. She tries to listen, but you can tell from what she says that she just doesn’t understand the conversation. It’s embarrassing when it happens and a lot of people just turn away from her and they don’t invite her back again.
Queenie, I tried to talk to her about all this, but she just got mad and said I was trying to pick a fight. What more can I do?—Embarrassed husband
Dear Husband,
Does your wife just not understand the language, or does she have poor hearing or a mental or emotional problem? If it is any of the latter three possibilities, she should see a medical or psychological specialist for help. And you should not expect her to attend events with you that she will not be able to enjoy.
Dear Queenie,
Someone I know speaks with an accent and when I asked where they came from they got upset and refused to answer.
Queenie, did I do something wrong?—Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Possibly the person is self-conscious about the way they speak your language, or they may have had problems where they came from or been discriminated against because of their origins. If they are still upset about your question, you can apologise for upsetting them and do not bring the subject up again.
