Dear Queenie,
When you have a dishwashing machine is it still necessary to rinse off the dishes before loading them into the machine? I have seen some people do this and others put the things straight into the machine without rinsing.
Queenie, what is the right way?—Dishwashing Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is no right way or wrong way to do this. It all depends on the preference of the dishwasher’s owner(s) – and on how sticky-dirty the dishes are and how efficient the machine is.
Also, some people prefer to wash their more fragile items by hand for fear they will get knocked around by the machine’s water-jets.
If you are a guest in someone else’s home, ask the hosts what method they prefer.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter doesn’t wash her hand properly after she goes to the bathroom, she just rinses them of a little under the faucet.
Queenie, how can I convince her that this isn’t healthy?—Worried Mom
Dear Worried,
I agree that your daughter should do a better job of cleaning her hands after using the toilet, but unless you stand over her while she is washing up (and I get the impression that she is too old for that kind of treatment) all you can do is tell her and tell her and tell her, and that kind of haranguing probably will fall on deaf ears.
Perhaps a word from her physician might help. But other than that all you can do is pray she stays healthy – and try to resist saying “I told you so” if she does not.
Dear Queenie,
When I went on vacation my brother came in to feed my pets and clean up after them.
When I came home I noticed that someone had gone through my closets and dresser drawers and kitchen cabinets and a lot of stuff was missing. There was no sign of anyone breaking in and when I asked him if anyone else had been in the house with him he said “no.”
Queenie, what do you think and what should I do?—Robbed
Dear Robbed,
It is possible that your brother inadvertently left the house unlocked and someone entered without his knowing it or that someone broke in and he did not realise what had happened.
Do not accuse your brother of anything, just notify the police immediately, tell your brother that you have done so because things had gone missing and ask him to give them his full cooperation.
Dear Queenie,
My mother and father weren’t married when I was born and he went abroad while she was pregnant. When I was still little she went to live with him abroad and left me with her sister.
Now I’m in high school and they are moving back to the island and are expecting me to come live with them. I don’t know them at all and it’s my aunt who has always been there for me like my mother should have been.
Queenie, do I have to leave her and go live with people who are strangers to me?—Left behind
Dear Left behind,
You might consider giving your birth parents a chance and getting to know them. As long as you will still be living on the island you can easily stay in close touch with your aunt and she will be able to help you get through the rough patches.
Look at it this way: In just a few years you may be leaving the island to further your education (I hope you plan to go on to university!) and will be living not only among strangers, but in a strange place. Think of this as a sort of practice period for that transition.
Dear Queenie,
We are five adult children of a mother who is turning 60 and about to retire. We are planning to go in together on a super birthday gift for her but we cannot agree on how to share the cost.
Some of us are married and some are not. Does each adult pay the same amount, or only her own children, couples being considered as one person?
Queenie, what do you think is fair?—
Dear Confused,
There is no hard-and-fast rule about such things. However, in my opinion, the cost should be split according to income: if everyone earns about the same amount, each child pays an equal share, with spouses chipping in as they see fit. On the other hand, if some of you earn a lot more than others, why not split the cost according to what each of you can afford?
Try holding a family meeting to discuss the subject and see if you cannot agree on what is fair.
