Dear Queenie,

My older daughter says she thinks I love her younger sister more than her. It’s true that I expect more of the older girl just because she is older and I want her to let her younger sister tag along with her because I want the girls to be close and to be good friends, and I want them to learn to think of others besides themselves.

My husband, who has younger brothers, says an older child gets sick of always having the younger ones tagging along and I shouldn’t demand that of our older daughter.

Queenie, what do you think?—Undecided

Dear Undecided,

I think you are both right. Your daughters need to learn to think of others as well as themselves, but you should not demand that they always do everything together. Your younger daughter also needs to learn to consider her sister’s feelings.

Dear Queenie,

My mother takes care of my children while I am at work, but she spoils them something awful. She keeps a load of sweets in her house for them and when she takes care of them at my house she lets them skip eating vegetables and things they don’t like and then lets them fill up on dessert, even though my rule is no dessert until they have eaten what is served to them for the main meal.

Queenie, I feel disrespected in my own home. Am I wrong?—Angry daughter

Dear Daughter,

No, you are quite right. At the very least your mother should abide by your rules when she is in your house. And she does your children no favour by letting them learn poor eating habits.

Talk to your mother about this and tell her if she cannot do better, at least in your house, you will have to find someone else to care for your children, which means she will see a lot less of them.

Dear Queenie,

My 10-year-old granddaughter has never spent a night away from home – no sleepovers with friends or even at my house or her other grandparents. I would like to have her visit for more than an hour or two, but her mother won’t allow it.

Queenie, is this normal?—Worried grandma

Dear Grandma,

It is unusual, but I would not go so far as to say it is abnormal. It could be that your granddaughter is rather timid about being separated from her parents, or that they are overprotective.

However, there may be some special reason for this. For example, she may have been bullied or even molested on such an occasion, and if this is the case, you should know about it. If you have not already discussed your concerns with her parents, you should do so.

Dear Queenie,

My husband is a “morning person.” He goes to bed early and then wakes up as soon as it starts to get light out and makes coffee and then comes back to bed to read the newspaper or a book. I. however, am a “night owl” who stays up later than he does and then in the morning I want to sleep later too, but I can’t with him in the bed drinking coffee and rattling the newspaper or turning the pages of a book.

Queenie, what to do?—Light sleeper

Dear Light sleeper,

Beds are for sleeping in (and other “pre-sleep” activities). If you do not already have one, invest in a sofa or a lounge chair for your husband to use after he wakes up in the morning – and for you to use at night when he has gone to bed and you are not quite ready to do so.