Dear Queenie,

My colleague is getting married. Her husband-to-be is unemployed and has been that way throughout their entire relationship. She complains that all he does is watch TV and she pays all their bills so she never has enough left over for recreation. Then she gets jealous when the girls in the office discuss what we did over the weekend. She is always stressed out, living pay-check to pay-check.

Queenie, what advice do you have for her?—Concerned co-worker

Dear Co-worker,

My advice to your colleague is: Dump that free-loading bum!

It may not be easy for you, but it is possible that doing so will motivate him to shape up, get a job and start carrying his own weight.

However, as long as you are willing to support him, what incentive does he have to even try to find work or pay his own way, let alone support you? What will you do if he gets you pregnant? How will you manage to work through your pregnancy and support yourself and your child once it is born?

I say it again: Dump that free-loading bum!

Dear Queenie,

My best friend is a terrible driver. She goes too fast, passes when it isn’t safe and honks the horn and gets vexed if another driver doesn’t go what she thinks is fast enough or slows down to make a turn or wait for someone to enter the road.

I hate driving with her and I’m afraid she will cause an accident someday and someone will get hurt, especially her kids because she drives that way when they are with her too.

Queenie, I tried to tell her how I feel about her driving but it didn’t do any good that I can see. Is there any way I can get her to shape up?—Scared passenger

Dear Scared,

If your friend will not listen to what you say, there is not much more you can do but refuse to ride with her and pray for her children’s safety.

But where is the children’s father in all of this? Is he involved in his children’s lives and does he know what kind of driver their mother is? If so, he might be able to have some influence on her – such as taking custody of his children if she continues to endanger them (or at least threatening to do so).

Dear Queenie,

My mother-in-law has a key to our house in case of emergencies. I suspect she uses it when we are not at home, because little things go missing, like food and cleaning supplies and sometimes even tools, dishes and cooking utensils

I don’t want to cause a family fight, but this has to stop!

Queenie, what do you suggest?—Invaded

Dear Invaded,

Change your locks! Do it at once and without telling your mother-in-law.

If she asks you why you have done so, ask her how she knows. Then, without accusing her of being the culprit, tell her what you have told me about things going missing. You will know from her reaction whether she indeed is the guilty party and whether you can trust her with a new key.

Dear Queenie,

I own 2 dogs that are usually well-behaved but can get excited when I have people visiting me. Sometimes someone who doesn’t like dogs or just isn’t used to them will ask me to put the dogs outside while they are there.

Queenie, are they being rude for asking such a thing or am I being rude if I don’t oblige them?—Pet Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

Many people love their pets as though they were their children, and much the same principle applies – it is your responsibility as their “parent” to teach them good manners and keep them under control.

If your guest is allergic, for example, or even just has an aversion to dogs, or if your dogs are behaving rambunctiously, I see no rudeness in asking to be spared the dogs’ presence and no reason why the dogs cannot be sent outside to play while your sensitive guest is there – assuming the visit is relatively brief, that is.

However, if the guest knows you have dogs and has an aversion to them for some reason, they should keep their visit brief and not ask you to banish the dogs for more than a few hours.