Dear Queenie,
My wife is much younger than I am and lots of times people who don’t know us think we are father and daughter, like in a restaurant the waitress will ask, “And what will your daughter be having?”
Queenie, should I say something to correct their mistake or just let it pass?—Older husband
Dear Husband,
If the waitress (or the waiter, as the case may be) is smart, she (or he) will not make any unwarranted assumption, but will simply ask, “And what will the lady be having?” But if she/he does make the mistake and you wish to correct it, you can just reply, “My wife will have ... .” ’Nuff said.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé’s mother is a professional seamstress and she has offered to make my wedding gown.
Queenie, I think this is wonderful, but I am wondering if I should offer to pay for the material or just accept it as a gift?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
You definitely should offer to pay for the material, but if she refuses you should accept her generous gift with heartfelt thanks.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and volunteer with a local service group. I always call my supervisors “Mr.” or “Mrs.” but some of them sign their e-mails to me with their first name.
Queenie, does this mean I should call them by their first name when I talk to them or e-mail them?—Respectful teenager
Dear Teenager,
It is more polite to use the respectful title in addressing an adult. However, if you would like to be less formal, you could ask the ones who sign their first name for permission to use it rather than the formal title.
Dear Queenie,
Sometimes when I’m using a public restroom the person in the next stall will be talking on their cell phone all the time they are “going.” I think that’s disgusting!
Queenie, what do you think?—Offended
Dear Offended,
I agree with you.
I would be willing to bet the person using their cell phone while on the toilet would not hold a conversation with someone standing outside the door of their bathroom at home while they were on the toilet, and I certainly would not want to be the person on the other end of that conversation.
If nothing else, think of the “sound effects”! I guess you would call the cell phone user a real “party pooper.”
Dear Queenie,
I’m an honest person who works hard, pays their bills and love my family and friends. I’m not stupid and I have an advanced university degree to prove it, but sometimes I make bad choices and it’s so embarrassing that I just want to curl up and die as they say.
Queenie, how can I learn to do better?—Dumbbell
Dear Dumbbell,
Making mistakes does not make you a dumbbell, it just means you are a normal (imperfect) human being. Everyone, even geniuses, makes a mistake now and then.
The trick to doing better is not dying of embarrassment, but looking straight at a mistake or poor choice, figuring out where you went wrong, and remembering it (without embarrassment!!) so that next time in similar circumstances you can – and will – do better.
