Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend’s brother and his son take care of my yard and fix things in my house. I make a point of being friendly with them because they are like family.

  Now the brother’s wife has gotten the idea that I am having an affair with her husband. I have told her that is not so and that I am faithful to my boyfriend, but she doesn’t believe me and is telling other family members about what she thinks is going on and some of them believe her.

  Queenie, what can I do?—Not guilty

Dear Not guilty,

  I hope your boyfriend is not one of the people who believes what his sister-in-law is saying about you. That being the case, he should stand up for you with the rest of his family, especially his parents.

  Meanwhile, hold your head up with pride and go about your business with honesty.

Dear Queenie,

  I am a nervous sort of person and the littlest thing can make me completely panicky. The other day my husband told me he is sick of the way I can’t handle the least little problem and he wants a divorce and for once I managed to stay calm.

  I asked him to wait with the divorce until I could get some counseling and he agreed and later he apologized and said he would wait and see if the counseling would help, and now things have gotten back to normal.

  But Queenie, how do I get over being scared he might just leave me?—Worried wife

Dear Wife,

  Get that counselling as soon as you can, and try to persuade your husband to go with you to learn how to deal with your problem from his side. Contact the Mental Health Foundation, tel. 542-1677, for a referral.

  (This telephone number is pre-Hurricane Irma. If MHF’s contact information has changed, I hope one of my readers will bring me up to date.)

Dear Queenie,

  I have a very successful career in a field that has a slight political connection and a relative who is prominent in politics.

  One of my relatives on the other side of my family doesn’t like the politician and has a habit of making nasty remarks about them and about my only being so successful because of being related to that person.

  Queenie, what’s a good reply that isn’t totally rude?—Offended

Dear Offended,

  How about something along the lines of “That is what you always say” or “Lovely weather we’re having, isn’t it?” and then excuse yourself to go and do something as far away from that person as possible.

Dear Queenie,

  My father-in-law is a rude, crude man who constantly used foul language and makes racist remarks in front of my young sons.

  He does love the boys and treats them very well except for the way he talks.

  My wife and I keep reminding the boys about the way we expect them to behave when they are at home with us and they are pretty good about that, but what will happen when they get older?

  Queenie, how do we deal with their grandfather then?—Worried father

Dear Father,

  Presumably your wife grew up with her rude, crude father and still managed to turn out very well or you would not have found her attractive enough to marry her, so I think you can continue to explain acceptable behaviour to your sons – and to show them by example.

  However, your father-in-law’s racism is a bigger issue. Explain to him that you have no wish to try to change his opinions, but you do not share them and you will not allow your children to grow up sharing such beliefs, so if he cannot keep them to himself when you and/or the boys are around, you will leave and take them with you.

  And if you find out that he has been spouting off that way in front of the boys when you are not with them, tell him you will not allow them to visit him without you being present to hear what he is saying.