Dear Queenie,
I was raised to believe it is good manners for a man to take off his hat or cap when he comes indoors, but nowadays I see men everywhere wearing their hats/caps inside.
Queenie, have the rules changed?—Headgear Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
According to the etiquette books, the rules have not changed. However, I suspect not so many people are reading the etiquette books as used to be the case.
Also, I have noted that in some business establishments, especially those that deal in food, all employees, both male and female, wear hats or caps that confine their hair, of which I wholeheartedly approve, etiquette or not.
Dear Queenie,
My 10-year-old niece is very badly behaved, including that she lies a lot. The problem is that whenever anyone complains to her mother, Mom believes her daughter instead of the complainer, even though Mom knows her daughter to be a liar.
The rest of the family thinks this is a real problem and the child should get counselling, but the child’s mother (my ex-sister-in-law) won’t listen to us but always takes her child’s side.
Queenie, how can we get her to get her daughter some help?—Worried uncle
Dear Uncle,
Whenever an adult is present, which should be all the time when this problem child is playing with other children, the adult should video-record everything that your niece does. It should not be difficult in this day and age of ever-present smartphones and other electronic devices. Then you will have irrefutable proof as to who is lying and who is telling the truth, and perhaps that will be enough to persuade the mother to get her child professional help.
There is also the possibility that authorities at the child’s school can force her to do so. I am assuming your niece is enrolled in an official public or private school. If not, you should inform the police Juvenile Unit or the Court of Guardianship. St. Maarten law requires that all children go to school.
Dear Queenie,
Is it really necessary to say “Bless you” when someone sneezes? I think it’s so old-fashioned!
Queenie, is it rude not to say it?—Ah-choo Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Many centuries ago people believed that a person’s soul left their body for a moment when they sneezed and saying “God bless you” would keep the devil from snatching it. I do not think anyone believes that anymore, but it is still considered polite to say “Bless you” or something like it when someone sneezes.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a divorced woman with children who is dating several different men. I am not interested in a serious relationship and I have told them so, but I do enjoy their company and the things we do together.
My older brother says I need to make a commitment to just one of them or people will not think well of me.
Queenie, is he right?— Like my freedom
Dear Like my freedom,
He may be right about some people, but you are an adult and have to do what you think is best for you. And it will be better to continue to enjoy your freedom than to rush into a relationship that you are not ready for and that might turn out badly, just to please your brother.
Dear Queenie,
Some people I know will knock on the door but they don’t wait for me to answer, they just knock and walk right in. It can be embarrassing if I’m not properly dressed or inconvenient if I’m in the middle of eating or talking on the phone or whatever.
Queenie, shouldn’t they wait until I open the door or at least tell them to come in? And can I say something to them about it?—Entry Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Yes, of course they should wait until you invite them to enter. The simplest solution would be to keep your door locked so they have to wait for you to open it. However, you may prefer to be able to call out “Come in” without having to go and unlock the door for them.
And, yes, you can say to them, “Please wait for me to answer before you come in, in case I am not properly dressed.”
