Dear Queenie,

  I’m a man in my 40s, never been married, don’t have any children. I would like to be in a committed relationship with a woman but I don’t have any luck.

  I keep meeting single and divorced women who have children and I have no problem getting together with someone like that, but some of them have more problems than I can handle and some of them don’t seem to be interested in a man like me. And I can’t seem to meet up with any women who have never been married and don’t have children.

  Queenie, what should I do?—Looking for love

Dear Looking,

  People tend to wonder what is wrong with a man your age who has never been in a long-term relationship and has no children.

  Ask your closest friends and relatives what they think your problem might be, listen carefully to what they say and be willing to try to do something about it. Professional counselling also might help.

  Other than that, join a community service or other group that includes lots of women and give the women a chance to get to know you without pressing for a “relationship”. “What will be, will be.”

Dear Queenie,

  Recently I heard from an old boyfriend I hadn’t seen in years. Since then we have been talking every day and he has started telling me he loves me

  The problem is, he has a woman he is living with. He says they are just friends and roommates and don’t have sex or anything like that, but he isn’t ready to just kick her out or move out himself. However, I want some kind of commitment before I get into a serious relationship with him.

  Queenie, what should I do?—Undecided

Dear Undecided,

  You are not this man’s girlfriend, the woman he lives with is, whether he admits it or not. Tell him you are not interested in any relationship with him as long as he is with her. And bear in mind that he is cheating on her emotionally, if not physically – and he might end up treating you the same way.

Dear Queenie,

  My son’s fiancée never says “thank you” when you do something for her or give her something, and when she visits us she just sits there and doesn’t say anything or offer to help out in any way.

  I’ve talked to my son about all this but it doesn’t seem to bother him.

  It’s bad enough when it’s just us, but it will be a real problem when there are big family get-togethers.

  Queenie, should I talk to her about it?—Worried mother

Dear Mother,

  No, do not talk to your son’s fiancée. She may be very shy, in which case you may be able, with a lot of time and patience, to teach her to do better.

  However, if that is not the case, she is not likely to change unless your son insists on it, and maybe not even then.

  And whatever happens, try to put up with her patiently, for your son’s sake.

Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend and I are going to the same university, but we don’t take the same classes. One of his classmates is a girl who shares an apartment with several other girls that I have met a couple of times.

  My boyfriend admitted to me that one time when he went to see his classmate she wasn’t there and he got to talking to one of the other girls and they had a couple of drinks and started fooling around. He said they didn’t go as far as having sex, but they did get pretty hot.

  I’m having a hard time trusting my boyfriend and I certainly don’t trust that other girl and I don’t want him to see her anymore, but he says he can’t go to see his classmate without seeing the other girl too because they live together and it’s not a big deal because they didn’t sleep together.

  Queenie, shouldn’t he have more consideration for how I feel?—Angry girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

  Yes, he should. Because he cannot see his classmate at her apartment because the other girl will be there, he should arrange to see his classmate elsewhere – at the library or the park or maybe a fast-food restaurant. And if he is not willing to do this, you will have to decide whether you can trust him.