Dear Queenie,
I like to go out to dinner with friends every week, but the restaurants they choose are kept so cold with air conditioning that I just can’t take it. Some of them have outdoor dining, but it is just too hot or windy or there are too many bugs.
Queenie, why can’t I get to choose what restaurant we go to?—Shivering at dinner
Dear Shivering,
If your friends are paying for your dinner, it is only fair that they get to choose the restaurant, although they might be willing to listen if you make a suggestion as to where you would like to eat.
However, if they are too warm in the place you choose there is nothing they can do about it, while you can always carry with you a warm sweater or even a jacket to wear in the cold air-conditioned places.
Dear Queenie,
I had to have surgery recently and my doctor prescribed medication for the pain afterward while I am healing. All my friends have been very helpful, coming over to look after the kids and do the housework and cooking and just keep me company.
But I have noticed that after one of them leaves, some of my pain pills have gone missing – not many, just 2 or 3, but definitely there are not as many as when I last took a dose, because I keep careful count so I will know when I need to get a refill.
Queenie, should I talk to this friend or what should I do?—Worried sick friend
Dear Friend,
From now on, keep your pain pills locked up where your friend cannot get to them.
As for talking to your friend, do not accuse your friend, but if it will make you feel better just say that you have noticed that some of your pills go missing when that friend visits and suggest that if they are addicted, they should try to get professional help.
If they admit what they have done and apologise, hopefully it will make you feel a little better about the entire matter. If they do not, do not discuss the matter further and do not get into an argument about it, just change the subject.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been invited to a fancy wedding and the bride just asked me if I would watch over all the little kids who would be there.
Queenie, isn’t this kind of rude?—Offended wedding guest
Dear Guest,
Even if you are in the child-care profession, yes, it is kind of rude.
You have several choices:
You can agree to her request.
You can agree, but quote her a fee and/or tell her it will be your wedding gift to the happy couple.
You can accept the invitation but tell her you are sorry, you will not be available for child-care because you would not want to miss out on any of the happy event by being distracted by the children.
Or, you can turn down the invitation.
Dear Queenie,
My best friend worries all the time about her weight and she almost doesn’t eat anything. She is much taller than I am and weights less than me, and my doctor says I am the right weight for my height.
Queenie, is there any way I can help her?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
First talk to your friend and tell her how worried you are. Try to get her to see a doctor who can explain to her how damaging this can be for her health.
And, if she is underage, tell her parents how worried you are about her. They can insist that she see a doctor.
Dear Queenie,
My big brother is 2 grades ahead of me in high school and recently I have noticed that he is paying a lot of attention to a girl in my class who doesn’t have a very good reputation.
Queenie, I don’t want him to get in trouble with her. Should I talk to him or tell my parents or what should I do?—Worried kid brother
Dear Kid brother,
Talk to your brother. Tell him about this girl’s reputation in case he does not already know about it, and tell him you do not want to see him get in trouble with her or for seeing her. Other than that, there is not much you can do but hope things will turn out all right.
