Dear Queenie,

  I have seen signs that my husband surfs the Internet for porn when I’m not around.

 He says he only loves me and he wouldn’t be mad at me if I looked at porn pictures of men but I’m not at all interested in that sort of thing. It just makes me mad that he spends time fantasizing about other women besides me.

  Queenie, how do I deal with this?—Angry wife

Dear Wife,

  Researchers looking for statistics could not find one man who did not look at porn at least occasionally. Getting “turned on” by such images seems to be a natural part of the male psyche. That does not mean your husband is doing anything more than just look.

  Try to control your anger and not let it affect other aspects of your marriage. For all you know, when your husband looks at those pictures, he is fantasising that you are the one he is looking at.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m in my 20s and not interested in getting into a serious relationship with one person, but all my friends seem to think it’s time for me to find a mate and they keep trying to fix me up with other singles they know.

  Queenie, how do I get them to leave me in (single) peace?—Happily unattached

Dear Unattached,

  If you enjoy casual dating, thank your friends for offering pleasant persons for you to date, but tell them what you have told me – that you are not looking for anything serious.

  If you are not even interested in casual dating, tell your friends that and, again, thank them for their efforts on your behalf.

Dear Queenie,

  I saw your column for Wednesday, January 2, and I didn’t even read your reply but hook me up.

  I’m an educated, pretty boy (so I’m told) who doesn’t believe he’s pretty, so I know that whatever woman lets me into her life I’m not doing her a favor. I have nearly always dated older women for their perceived maturity, but somehow even they end up being childish.

  I do not play with feelings and I do not raise my hands on women, so I expect the same consideration in return.

  I believe body and mind are one so I work out both: reading up on Black historical figures, in fact I just started reading the biography of Eunice Carter, and I just joined a gym and regularly go on long walks.

  You know, just forward my email to “Still single” and she can take it from there. If you want to publish my email you can, but no names. 

  That’s it, Queenie, I shot my shot, the ball is in her court.—Educated pretty boy

Dear Pretty Boy,

  My column is not a dating service. I do not publish or give out any information about people who write letters to me.

  You should have read my reply to “Still single,” because my advice to her applies to you, too, so I repeat it here for you:

  You need to meet a lot of women, many of whom will not meet your requirements, to meet a few who do meet them. Go places, including stopping by a bar or two for “happy hour” and maybe flirting with one or two of the other patrons. Throw parties for your friends and let them know what kind of woman you are looking for so if they know one they can bring her with them. Join a service club and/or community service organisation – not all the female members will be married or otherwise “attached” – and one of them might even be “Still Single.

  And keep in mind that “uneducated” is not the same as “stupid.”

Dear Queenie,

  In our neighbourhood the houses are pretty close together, so when one neighbour is playing loud music inside their house it can be heard next door and even across the street, and it’s even worse when they have the windows wide open or are sitting outside and move the speakers into the doorway or out on the veranda.

  I tried to talk to them about it but I don’t think they understood that I am not interested in hearing their music, I don’t really care for that kind of music, it’s a problem when I want to watch TV or listen to the kind of music I do like or just want some peace and quiet.

  Queenie, what more can I do?—Longing for peace and quiet

Dear Longing,

  There are noise nuisance laws that limit how loud commercial establishments can play music. If these laws apply to everyone, not just commercial establishments, you may have the basis for filing a complaint with the appropriate authorities.