Dear Queenie,
My son and daughter-in-law recently invited us and her parents to their house to celebrate their baby’s first birthday. They have a small house and the baby doesn’t do well when there are a lot of people, so it was just the baby’s parents and grandparents.
A few days later some of our other relatives called to ask why they weren’t invited to the party and some of them were really upset that they hadn’t been included.
Queenie, how do we answer them?—Harassed grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Just tell them what you have told me – the baby’s parents have a very small house and the baby does not do well in big crowds, so it was just a small “grandparents only” occasion. Then do not let their questions bother you.
Dear Queenie,
After we were married for several years I found out my husband was cheating on me. We went to counselling and stayed together for our children’s sake but recently I found out he was cheating on me again and probably has been for a long time.
Queenie, should I talk to the woman he is seeing and tell her he is married and to leave him alone, or what should I do?—Miserable wife
Dear Miserable wife,
Talking to the other woman probably will not do much good. She probably knows her boyfriend (your husband) is a married man and just does not care.
You need to decide whether it is worth it to you to stay married to this man and what you have to do based on your decision. Professional and legal counselling will help you decide.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé has been having some business problems and when we got engaged all he could afford was an inexpensive little ring. He promised to give me a more elegant one when things get better, but I don’t care how expensive the ring is, I love the man for himself, not for the gifts he gives me.
But, Queenie, what do I say to people who make remarks about how cheap my engagement ring is?—Happy fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
Just smile and tell them how lucky you are to be engaged to such a wonderful man, and the ring is exactly what you wanted.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s brother’s wife likes to flirt with my husband and pretend there is something going on between them. When she had a baby she even went so far as to say it might actually be my husband’s child, not her husband’s, but we know that is not possible because he had a vasectomy years before she got pregnant.
Both husbands just ignore her behaviour but I worry about what our families might think.
Queenie, how do I deal with all this?—Angry wife
Dear Wife,
Have a paternity test done and if the subject comes up you can show proof that the baby is not your husband’s. Then try to ignore this woman’s nonsense.
You might also suggest that she get professional counselling, because it appears she has mental issues.
Dear Queenie,
I do not have any problems with my wife, she is just wonderful. It’s one of her friends I just can’t stand. She is totally self-centered and expects my wife to baby-sit her kids whenever she can’t find another sitter, which is a lot of the time, and put up with lots of other nonsense.
My wife knows how I feel about this woman, but she says this friend needs her and she won’t turn her away. I have tried to be polite, but that friend is just too much to take.
Queenie, what advice do you have for me?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
Your wife is entitled to choose her friends, just as you are, and you are under no obligation to like the same people your wife likes, although it is nice for both of you when that happens.
If you dislike this woman so much, try to have as little contact with her as possible. When your wife goes to see her or babysit her children you do not have to go with her. When the friend comes to your home to visit your wife, go out and run errands or visit a friend(s) of your own.
And keep reminding yourself that, as the saying goes, patience is a virtue and virtue is its own reward.
