Dear Queenie,
We have a swimming pool in our backyard. There is a high fence all around the yard, but my husband likes to leave the gates open and I’m afraid some of the children in the neighborhood might come in and try to swim or just fall into the pool and drown.
I explained all this to him, but he still leaves the gates open.
Queenie, how can I get him to be more careful?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Is there any kind of law or official rule about swimming pool safety where you live? If so, have some official person(s) come and talk to your husband about this behaviour. Maybe an official warning or even a fine might convince him to be more careful.
Meanwhile, get some locks for the gates and keep the keys where your husband cannot find them.
Dear Queenie,
I received a wedding invitation that said “No gifts, please” but I still would like to give them something.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Wedding guest
Dear Guest,
A donation to the happy couple’s favourite charity, or a gift certificate for dinner for two at their favourite restaurant (after the COVID-19 restrictions are over), or a cheque for the amount you would otherwise have spent on a gift would probably be welcome in spite of the restriction on the invitation.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I want to start having children but I have seen the problems other people have with their children, including in my own family, and I am afraid of all the things that might go wrong.
Queenie, how can I stop being so scared?—Fraidy cat
Dear Fraidy cat,
There are no guarantees in life. You and your husband should consider carefully what you want, how many children you want to have, and how you will cope with any problems that might arise.
As usual, I recommend professional counselling, if necessary, to help you make these decisions.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter is angry and critical about everything all the time. She is taking medicine for a medical condition she has and I think the medication is the reason she behaves this way.
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried father
Dear Father,
I think you and/or your daughter should consult the doctor who prescribed her medication and ask him (or her) your questions.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend has asked me to marry him and I would like to say “yes” but I’m afraid I will change my mind after we have been married for a while.
Queenie, how can I be sure I am doing the right thing?—Not ready yet
Dear Not ready,
Do not marry this man – or any man – unless and until you are certain it is what you want to do.
Professional counselling could help you learn what that is, and how to deal with your doubts.
