Dear Queenie,
When you are staying overnight with someone and they get their newspaper delivered early in the morning and you get up before they do, is it okay for you to bring in the paper and read it before they get up?
Queenie, my husband says this is very rude.—Early Riser Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
As long as you finish with the paper before your host(s) get up, and you leave it in its original condition (for example, do not do the crossword puzzle!), I see no problem. But to be certain, ask your host(s) whether they mind if you read the paper before they see it.
Dear Queenie,
Very often when I am visiting with someone they will interrupt the conversation to answer a call or a text message on their cell phone.
Queenie, I find this very rude. What is a good way to handle it?—Cell phone Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It is okay to tell the person – calmly, quietly, politely! – “I wish you wouldn’t do that.” And, of course, be sure you never do it to anyone else.
Dear Queenie,
What do you say to someone who believes every ridiculous thing they read or hear on the Internet? Sometimes I try to show them the truth with facts from reliable sources, but then they just find other crazy sources that agree with their wrong ideas.
Queenie, should I just make a joke about what they say, or agree with them and change the subject, or what?—Disgusted relative
Dear Relative,
There is no point in arguing with such a person. Some people will believe any wacky idea they see or hear.
However, you might suggest they get a complete physical (and maybe mental?) check-up. They might have some kind of physical infection or mental illness.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We don’t have any children together, but he has 2 from his previous marriage who have been with us since the youngest was just a baby and their mother hasn’t even tried to have anything to do with them since they have been with us.
The kids all call me “Mama” but they know I’m not their birth mother and sometimes I worry about what to do if they ever try to get in touch with her.
Queenie, how should I handle that if it happens?—Worried stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
If the children ask for information about their birth mother, tell them as much as you can. It is natural for children to be curious about their birth parents, but that does not mean they will love you any less.
Dear Queenie,
My daughters are going into their teens and I have to talk to them about dating and sex and things like that.
Queenie, my question is: what do I tell them about people living together without being married?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
That depends on whether the two people are planning on getting married and on how much education they have.
Research indicates that the more education they have, the more stable their relationship will be.
Also, especially a girl should have completed her education and be able to support herself before she decides to live with a man, especially without marriage. That way, if the relationship does not work out she will not feel bound to stay with him for fear of not being able to make it alone.
