Dear Queenie,
My brothers and sisters and I always get together at our parents’ house with our husbands and wives on holidays. One of my brothers-in-law refuse to attend because he doesn’t get along with the rest of us, so my sister takes a plate of food home for him.
My mother says she shouldn’t do this. She told my sister that if her husband wants the food from the party he should attend and learn to be civil.
Queenie, what do you think?—Curious sister
Dear Sister,
I think your mother is right. Your brother-in-law is doing everyone a favour by not being there if he cannot get along with you, but he does not deserve to be rewarded with food. If he cannot learn to at least be civil, let him fix his own food or order takeout.
Dear Queenie,
The other day when I walked into my son’s bedroom he was [masturbating – Ed.] I was so embarrassed I started to laugh. I told him he should keep his door closed and cover himself up when he does things like that, but I couldn’t stop laughing all the time.
Queenie, now what should I do?—Flustered mother
Dear Mother,
Apologise to your son for laughing and explain that it was because you were embarrassed, and from now on knock before you go into his room even if the door is open.
Then have his father or some other man in the family or the family doctor have a talk with him about sex and growing up
Dear Queenie,
I’m 16 and there’s this boy I think I’m in love with and he says he loves me too.
Queenie, am I too young for this to be the real thing? How can I tell if this is real love or just a teenage crush?—Confused teenager
Dear Teenager,
When you are really “in love” you will have no doubts about how you feel. Also, “real love” can stand the test of time. If you and this boy still feel the same way about each other a few years from now, when you are out of school and legally old enough to get married, you will not have to ask me this question.
Meanwhile, try to enjoy this part of growing up.
Dear Queenie,
I met a man at a store where I go shopping a lot and he asked me out. I like him a lot, but he’s 24 and I’m only 17 and when he found out I’m underage he thought I’m a cop and going to arrest him for trying to have sex with me.
Queenie, how can I prove that I’m not the police and he can trust me?—Teenage girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Police officers are older than 17 and this man should know that. It could just be an excuse to break up with you.
Let him go, try to find someone closer to your own age, and if you meet up with this guy a few years from now when the age gap does not matter so much, see what happens.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter isn’t interested in girl toys like dolls or clothes like dresses, she prefers boys’ toys like cars and trains and clothes like pants and T-shirts.
Queenie, how should we handle this?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
I suspect your question is really about your child’s sexual orientation. That is something that is inborn and nothing you can do now or later can change it.
However, the way you treat your child now will affect her all her life. It is important that she feels loved and accepted for whoever she is and supported in whatever her interests are, even if she prefers sports to art, music and/or dancing.
