Dear Queenie,
My daughters are going into their teens and I have to talk to them about dating and sex and things like that.
Queenie, my question is: what do I tell them about people living together without being married?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
That depends on whether the two people are planning on getting married and on how much education they have.
Research indicates that the more education they have, the more stable their relationship will be.
Also, especially a girl should have completed her education and be able to support herself before she decides to live with a man, especially without marriage. That way, if the relationship does not work out she will not feel bound to stay with him for fear of not being able to make it alone.
Dear Queenie,
I’m 14 years old and I would like to start dating boys but my parents won’t let me.
Queenie, how can I get them to let me start going out with boys?—Impatient girl
Dear Impatient girl,
Your parents’ decision is probably based on what they perceive to be your level of emotional maturity. You will have to prove to them that they can depend on you to behave responsibly. They also will want to know the boy(s) with whom you intend to go out and whether they can trust him (them) to treat you well.
Dear Queenie,
I’m married to a church pastor who is an alcoholic who gambles and chases other women. We have had to move to new places several times because of his way with women.
Most of our friends are people from the church and they all think my husband is the greatest. I have a part-time job but it’s not enough for me to support myself, so I can’t just move out.
Queenie, what can I do?—Feeling trapped
Dear Feeling trapped,
First, get professional counselling from someone not connected to your church, to help you clarify your thinking and sort out your options. Next, look for a full-time job.
And I have to wonder, what kind of church and congregation would have a man such as you describe in the position of pastor?
Dear Queenie,
I am naturally slender and I eat healthy and work out to stay fit. People tell me all the time that I am too skinny and should try to put on some weight.
Queenie, what’s a good way to answer them?—Slim Jane
Dear Slim Jane,
You could just ignore the remarks. Or you could ask them why they would say something so rude. Or you could thank them and tell them how lucky you feel to be naturally slender and not have to diet to stay that way.
Dear Queenie,
I found out that my husband’s parents are first cousins and he is very upset about it. I haven’t told his parents that I found this out about them.
Queenie, should I say something to them or let them keep their secret even though we already know about it?—I know the truth
Dear Know the truth,
I wonder whether your in-laws are “keeping their secret” or just do not think it is anything worth talking about. Marriage between first cousins is legal in many places and permitted under special circumstances in others. In biblical times it was quite common.
Tell your husband’s parents what you found out and let them discuss it with their son so he can stop being upset about it.
