Dear Queenie,

My mother always sees the worst die of everything and criticises everything I do and every decision I make. She even changes my order at a restaurant.

I tried to talk to her about this, but she said I was imagining things and got mad and refused to discuss it with me.

I love my mother, but I can’t stand to be with her.

Queenie, what to do?—Frustrated daughter

Dear Daughter,

Your mother is accustomed to dealing with you as a child and has difficulty seeing you as an adult. Try to be patient with her.

Ignore her criticism without getting angry. If she changes a restaurant order, just say – pleasantly! – “Sorry, I prefer (whatever you originally ordered),” and be sure to give your order directly to the server.

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